But that doesn't sound like Mark Wahlberg at all... In fact, surprisingly enough, it would seem none of One Direction are safe as he told Conan O'Brien that he'd like to beat "the crap out of all five of them." But why?!?

For those unable to view the video; basically his four-year-old daughter has a thing for Mr. Styles, what with her hoarding pictures of him and mumbling "I like Hahwee". His ten-year-old also has a thing for the group. So his mission is to orchestrate a project where he can work with One Direction, and then, just when things are going well, he's going to beat the crap out of all of them - before banishing his daughters to a tower for some lengthy 'Rapunzel time.' Sure what daddy wouldn't?

We'll keep an eye out for the inevitable shaky phone footage of Mark being jumped down a dark alleyway by a herd of livid Directioners.