Turns out the Donald can't even tell a good joke when it's written down in front of him.
We didn't know there was a special presidential election Comedy Central roast lined up but that's apparently what happened at the Alfred E. Smith Dinner, a traditional bipartisan charity fundraiser hosted by the Archbishop of New York, last night.
The dinner is usually an opportunity for Republican and Democratic candidates to kick back a bit and throw a few jokes at their opponent while taking the piss out of themselves and while Trump made a decent attempt at self-deprecation, his jokes about Hillary did not land as well.
"Hillary is so corrupt, she got kicked off the Watergate commission." he joked to a round of boos from the audience.
He doubled down and then said "We have learned so much from WikiLeaks. For example, Hillary Clinton believes it is vital to deceive the people by having one public policy and it is only different policy in private." Cue lots more booing, to which he added, "That’s OK. I don’t know who they are angry at, Hillary or I. Here she is tonight in public, pretending not to hate Catholics."
As you can imagine, that last bit was shocking to everyone in the room, and got even more boos.
Hillary had some clangers of her own but did manage to get in some zingers, including this one:
"People look at the Statue of Liberty and see a proud symbol of our history as a nation of immigrants, a beacon of hope for people around the world. Donald looks at the Statue of Liberty and sees a 4, maybe a 5 if she loses the torch and tablet and changes her hair. Come to think of it, you know what would be a good number for a woman? 45."
And we couldn't not mention this sick burn (which we hope Hillary gave its writer a bonus for):
"Donald really is as healthy as a horse – you know, the one that Vladimir Putin rides around on."
You can watch all of Donald's cringe-tastic speech above, and Hillary's slightly less cringeworthy speech below.
Via EW
