At some point, the world is eventually going to have to go back to being the usual, boring, peaceful way it was at some point in the future.
For now, however, we have to contend with crazy-ass headlines like the one above. The whole thing started when Mark Hamill, better known to everyone as Luke Skywalker from a little film called Star Wars, called out Ajit Pai, the Trump-appointed head of the FCC who was instrumental in destroying Net Neutrality in the US. What's Net Neutrality, you ask? In its most basic explanation, Net Neutrality prevented internet companies from throttling connection speeds and the like. There's a really good explainer here by Vox that'll tell it more clearly than we can.
Anyway, Hamill posted about Ajit Pai's crazy-ass Net Neutrality video, pointing out the fact that it seemed unlikely that Pai's video - which featured both John Williams' score and a lightsaber - had paid any royalty for both. Here's the tweet in question.
Cute video Ajit "Aren't I Precious?" Pai 🤮-but you are profoundly unworthy 2 wield a lightsaber-A Jedi acts selflessly for the common man-NOT lie 2 enrich giant corporations. Btw-did you pay John Williams his royalty? @AjitPaiFCCorpShill #AJediYouAreNOT pic.twitter.com/SpIcOEySUY
— @HamillHimself (@HamillHimself) December 16, 2017
Now we introduce former Republican presidential candidate and alleged consumer of threeway-incest porn Ted Cruz, who fucked up Hamill's Twitter handle in the process of replying with this.
.@HammillHimself Luke, I know Hollywood can be confusing, but it was Vader who supported govt power over everything said & done on the Internet. That's why giant corps (Google, Facebook, Netflix) supported the FCC power grab of net neutrality. Reject the dark side: Free the net! https://t.co/nARkMvIEYk
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) December 17, 2017
Ugh. So, Hamill then fires back with this, just to make things even more awkward and horrible.
Thanks for smarm-spaining it to me @tedcruz I know politics can be confusing, but you'd have more credibility if you spelled my name correctly. I mean IT'S RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU! Maybe you're just distracted from watching porn at the office again��-mh https://t.co/nHpJVG1Wpe
— @HamillHimself (@HamillHimself) December 17, 2017
Mark Hamill arguing Net Neutrality with a US Senator and bringing up history of enjoying porn. What the actual f*** is going on, 2017.
Via Twitter