Right, let's compare and contrast those listed in the Top Ten, and those who managed to show up at FHM's 100 Sexiest Women In The World 2011 launch party last night, shall we?

Here's the top ten list:
1) Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
2) Katy Perry
3) Rihanna
4) Megan Fox
5) Olivia Wilde
6) Brooklyn Decker
7) Marisa Miller
8) Kelly Brook
9) Nicole Scherzinger
10) Irina Shayk

Needless to say, none of these people turned up. Although, they did manage to squeeze a quote from Rosie: "I'm so flattered to be FHM's Sexiest Woman in the World. This is a really exciting year for me." Then the string ran out. If it'd been pulled again, she probably would've bleated something about her imminent appearance in Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

Instead of anyone near the top ten turning up - or indeed the top 20, 30, or 40 - the highest ranking flesh purveyor to grace the event with her presence was Number 53: Amy Childs. I know this comparison has been bandied about before, but she really does look like the lady gremlin off Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Number 67: Zoe Salmon also arrived, as well as Jessica Lowndes (79) aaaaaand that's it as far as I can see.Nope, not even Michelle Keegan (26), Sarah Harding (36), Gemma Arterton (35), Kara/Hannah Tointon (48 and 85) or Christine Bleakley (93) showed.

Instead, to make up the numbers, we got the unlisted Essex Teef, the bird from As If, a home wrecker, Emmerdale's Gob Almighty, Sarah Cawood's breast bone, that Cundy creature, and bleedin' Kerry Katona. As for the attending men: Alex Reid and Joey Essex... and I hear Joe Calzaghe was also doing the rounds.

At least they also invited along Lauren Budd, Belinda Stewart, and Jason Gardiner's new hair transplant to bring some class to the proceedings. And that's saying something.