We've decided to kick things off with this image of Kat Slater and Ronnie Mitchell off EastEnders looking fierce chuffed with themselves for having the balls to sport trouser suits.
Despite them being ill-fitting in the extreme, it was a wise move on their behalf given the other clothing categories appeared to be restricted to 1970s Harlot, 1800s Strumpet, or your modern day Porn Star. Again, WAIT 'til you see the yokes off The Valleys...
Let's address the hookers circa 1970s. We've already had a gander at our first advocate of this look, that being Kelly Brook sans bra. At least she managed to keep her knickers under wraps, unlike EastEnders' Nikki (she what plays Bianca's new fellah's ex bird). It would seem Rachel is Wilde by name and pants by nature.
Also under That 70s shtick, we have Sheridan Smith, who's gone for a late 70s/early 80s 'Sequined Sausage' or 'Disco Turd' ensemble.
Next to ye olde strumpet. We have Jennifer Metcalfe off Hollyoaks, who managed to strike both a "bum note" and a "Howdy Booby!" with her ensemble.
Following her is one Paula Lane, AKA Kylie off Corrie. She's Mae West's newest recruit. They call her Scarlett.
At the other end of the spectrum, we have Corrie's Catherine Tylsdale embodying Vivienne Leigh's Scarlett the first time she was left widowed in Gone With The Wind. Fiddle-dee-don't.
Before we move on to the Modern Day Porn Stars, we'll take a break to digest the 'Just Wrong' contingent. We'll commence with Brook Vincent, who seems intent in highlighting that her tan isn't quite as radioactive as we previously thought.
On to Emmerdale, we have the Vanessa the vet (Michelle Hardwick) who's only gay for Rhona. She starring in a community production of Caligula...
While Emmerdale's Chastity (Lucy Pargenter) lives up to her name by needlessly clasping her breasticles...
And now to the Modern Day Porn Stars. From Wales. Enough said...
Not that the crowd took much interested in them. I wonder who they're all trying to get a shot of...
