It won't surprise you to hear that David Hasslehoff wanted to bring a musical version of Baywatch to a stage (presumably) in Las Vegas but, alas, his wish was denied: "A while back I tried to buy the rights because I wanted to do Baywatch: The Musical. It would have been fantastic! But they're idiots... they're all idiots. Corporate people only think of dollars and cents." And possibly the logistics of translating something to stage without the presence of a large body of water, or the use of slow motion. Let's take a moment to ponder what that would be like... OK, so they could employ stage hands to billow sheets of blue fabric from the wings... but the all-important slow-mo could be an issue. Not to mention all those underwater shots of Pamela Anderson's breasts swimming to the surface, which was intrinsic to the plot line of each show. Unless they installed a large aquarium type tank onstage and had a load of large-breasted ladies doing some syncronised swimming with those life boy thingies. That could work! To hell with the corporates, Mitch, we can do this alone! Hah? You're already going it alone? By buying your own castle to "hold lavish parties and stage concerts." You're going to call it "the Hassel Castle?" Inspired! You know, there were some people who said sucking in your stomach for prolonged periods, thus depriving your lungs of oxegen throughout the early 90s, could've caused slight brain damage - but I'm not one of them.
