Not the heave-inducing beverage, this form is far more noxious...

Tila Tequila, the person who pretends to be bisexual for a living and who serves no function other than to prove that desperation also comes in minute packages, has been posting pure nuggets of shameful "fame" mongering that they need to be highlighted. Firstly, she had this to say of Chris Brown:

"NOTE TO CHRIS BROWN: I honestly think that you have paid your dues, and I'm definitely on TEAM CHRIS NOW! GO CHRIS! YOU CAN MAKE YOUR COMEBACK AND I FULLY SUPPORT YOU! You have admitted to what you did, and apologized numerous times, You have learned from your mistakes and I think people should really leave that in the past now and let you do your thing. TEAM CHRIS! Love ya baby! And Im glad we squased that beef we had! Love ya!"

If that weren't enough evidence to testify that Tila loathes Rihanna with the intensity of someone who has f*** all else to focus on, she then headbutted this into the interweb via her keyboard:

"So everyone, yes.....I heard from legit sources, that is the HUGE SECRET our prestine, perfect little Princess RiRi, the "IDOL" has been hiding from the media. A very close source of mine, who works in the same legal camp as Rihanna (Tila has about as much pull with Rihanna's legal team as your average goat in an ill-fitting basque), has told me that the reason why Rihanna wasn't speaking out about the CHRIS BROWN incident is because there was a catch 22 in it. Rihanna has herpes, and....well......I don't wanna put anyone else on blast, but Rihanna has herpes and gave someone else herpes that she had slept with. My sources are very legit, and they work in Rihanna's legal camp, and that is how I know! SO RIHANNA HAS HERPES, STD'S & WAS SCARED TO SPEAK OUT ABOUT IT CUZ SHE DIDN'T WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT SHE HAS HERPES AND INFECTED SOMEONE ELSE WITH IT! BAD RIHANNA!"

Whatever did Rihanna do to be the target of such a pitiful, juvenile, attention-seeking tantrum? When asked, during a live interview, who she would "turn off" if presented with a remote with a magical mute button, Rihanna reportedly mentioned "Tila" - who evidently decided not to go with the "dignified silence" option.

Herself and Chris Brown deserve each other.

Speaking of which, here are some (shoddy) stills from Brown's video for HIS NEW SINGLE, Changed Man... Whatever could he be eluding to? Anyway, here he is looking remorseful while sporting spectacles (the calling card of the innocent looking and/or serial killers). Here he is again, having some kind of regret-fulled micky fit in front of a TV wall filled with images of some bird or other (whoever could it be?!). Finally, we have him rolling around a giant sand box. Apt.