Most ridiculously successful celebrities take a break after a string of top selling hits, but not Rihanna. Sure there seems to be no decrease in the quality of what she puts out but she really ought to slow down or she'll end up going down the Britney route. However, as much as we fear that she'll soon burn herself out (especially with all this Chris Brown malark), it's days like today when there is just NOTHING worth talking about that we're most grateful for all things RiRi - the complete and utter fruitcake that she is. Seriously, she just gets weirder by the day. Her tweets get more and more random, e.g. yesterday she took to Twitter to say "Ratchet ass ho shit!!! Don't front" (um, OK?) and now she's only gone and given herself a pair of reptile nipples. Yes, reptile nipples. And a big, crusty, lizardy back.
Thankfully, this get up wasn't for a jaunt in her local park, (well given the outfits she's been papped in lately I wouldn't be half surprised) but for her latest music video where she takes the form of some kind of 'sexy' reptilian creature emerging from a swamp. You may already have seen the "Where have you been?" video but these half naked pics were posted by RiRi herself on her Facebook page just last night.
Look at her boobs! I'm sorry, maybe I'm just jealous. But they do not look like sexy lady reptile bits, they look like avocados. And that yoke trailing down her back? It looks like some sort of itchy skin disorder contracted in the Amazon jungle.
The video also sees her performing a series of dance routines dressed in Middle Eastern clothing, prancing around the desert. Quite a long way she's come since those low cut baggies from "Pon De Replay" then. I miss that Rihanna, the Rihanna who wore clothes and was sweet and made sense.
Speaking about the video before its release, Rihanna said: This one is all about performance. It's all about evoking emotion through your body. I was never gonna shoot this video if I couldn't do choreography. It would be pretty pointless. It would be disappointing."
Well you're certainly evoking something. But I think it may just be nausea. And itchiness. *Feelsmyownboobs.
Take a break honey, you really need it.