Last nights Teen Choice Awards were a largely uneventful affair (apart from Harry Styles twerking and Lea Micheles's heartfelt speech about Cory Monteith) but thankfully people decided to make some terrible fashion choices for us all to gaze over with a bitter eye.
Hailee Steinfeld went for a weird patriotic version of an 80s prom/comic book 'KAPOW' dress, JWOWW is JWOWW so we're not really surprised at the level of tack from this glitter sequin catastrophe and Alex Newell from Glee is still intending on being Andre Leon Talley in a few years.
Addie Hesson (who we admittedly had to Google) looked amazing in a pink and yellow tartan that looks far better than it sounds, while Sasha Pieterse (again Google) wins the award for Is-It-Or-Isn't-It-A-Dress with her sumo baggy high-waisted trousers.
Zac Efron's wax clone made an appearance with a suitably matchy clone of Ashley Tisdale. A newer teen hearthrob who makes teen girls swoon was on hand, but when we see Teen Wolf Tyler Posey all we can think of is troll face.
We also blinked and missed Abigail Breslin turning into an almost grown-up, who's borderline unrecognisable as a peroxide blonde. Bella Thorne's Miami-inspired palm tree print dress is one of the best in show (and is it just us or does she look like Jennifer Garner's daughter but all growed up?).
What is this? Is that Cher Lloyd?! But she's a GLAMAZON. When did this happen?
Cody Simpson looks like he got into a strop with a stylist and then agreed to wear 'the fancy shirt' as long as he could wear his nasty old acid wash jeans, which is worse than not making an effort at all. Brittany Snow meanwhile was auditioning for the role of Tinkerbell.
Hayley Williams cut off most of her hair and wore a leather cage straight from a sex club as a top, but we really like that while one of the Paramore boys went all out with the socks, the other went without. That's teamwork. Naya Rivera on the other handpulled a Gaga and decided to just wear a leather bra but we doubt anyone in attendance complained.
Harry Styles hid his wondrous locks under a panama hat for some Godforsaken reason and unfortunately Demi Lovato decided to go all business in the front, party in the back , while Lily Collins probably gave Bella Thorne daggers for getting to the red carpet in the same patterned skirt before her.
Kerry Washington got fun and lippy and we love it, which makes up for the oh so boring Mr. Schnore-ster.
Miley Cyrus wore a skirt that is literally several belts, but not in a Xtina Dirty way thankfully. And finally Rebel Wilson wins our hearts and the evening for dressing in theme while also showing that she gives all of zero shits about dressing to impress. Salutations Ms. Wilson.
