Really the main offenders are the designers themselves who think - "hey, it's been 20 years" - give a load of samples to stylists, who then inform their celebrity clients that "flares are totally a thing again". Are they though...
I wasn't young enough to remember them in the 70s, what with not being quite born, but I was a massive advocate of them in the 90s - like the rest of you. Yes, they make your thighs look smaller, and - if you're small, they can add several inches by consuming the height of your shoes entirely - but that's about it really.
The rest of the time it's all hiking them up between your knees while spending a penny in pubic loos, getting soaked up to the knees in the rain, and generally hauling home half of The Ormonde/whatever club you frequented back in the day at the end of the night around the rim of your trousers. Venues must've saved a fortune on cleaning bills because we were all essentially free floor buffers.
While there's a lot to be said for the flattering line of a (a rather expanded) boot cut...
... the side profile isn't nearly as alluring (Abbey Clancy), and it renders your choice of footwear limited to a platform or wedge. Have you tried sporting a flare with a stiletto? Especially on a windy day? You're likely to take off.
So, in short, 'Slebs - please give up the ghost and let Flares be a fuzzy memory. Or, if you insist on hauling them out again, try not to get lost in them...
...or embody the Mad Hatter twisting someone's melon, man... CAWL THE CAWPS!
... or ever think it's OK to wear a satin pair flapping around in the wind. This is one step away from velvet, Lohan... one step away from velvet. Don't make me type the obvious...
