To recap, Mel Gibson and his girlfriend of one year/impromptu mother of his eighth child to date split up last week. And now she's, shocker of all shockers, going to spill all. In a bit. Don't know when exactly. We'll have to see. Super *proffers thumbs*

Rumour has it that Mel ended things because Oksana was getting too cosy with the idea of getting wed to him. Cosy to the point of violence: "Despite initial reports insisting they are still on good terms, it was recently claimed 54-year-old Mel ended their relationship following a huge row. According to National Enquirer magazine, 40-year-old Oksana accused her partner of 'cheating' and 'lashed out' over his reluctance to marry... Mel has previously admitted he didn't intend to marry the brunette beauty. He said recently: 'She'd make anyone a wonderful wife, but for the moment, she's a mother'." Cryptic.

Oksana, meanwhile, had this mystical carrot to dangle: "I can tell you that we have split up, suddenly and recently. Unfortunately, I cannot give you the reason. But you will find out everything quite soon... Here is the official version - we split up by mutual consent and we will raise our daughter together. She is currently with my mother in my Los Angeles home."

If you can't possibly wait to find out "everything soon", here's what happened: either she got sick of him calling her "sugar tits" while speeding past jewellers, oooor the introduction of a pregnancy three months into the relationship throttled his spontaneous 'joie de la maîtresse' (apologies to the French speakers, I am rubbish at your fine language)... Just a wee guess based solely on the "yeah, wonderful wife but she's a ma at the moment, blah, blah, blah" comment.