That's a little traumatising. Does it make anyone else wish the exposed flesh was painted over with a garish nail varnish from 2002? Then again, I find crotches traumatising in general - especially when they've expelled two children and are attached to a middleaged. That could be construed as ageist but, personally, crotch shots plain epitomise bad taste - irrespective of age... Cameo ingrained that in me as a child. Digression aside; isn't Madonna meant to be the queen of reinvention? Basically it all boils down to pants in the end. In other news; various sources are claiming Madonna is leaving Guy to set up home in New York. A source said to The Post yesterday; "Madonna is said to have lost respect for Ritchie when she found out he had embellished his past. Far from the tough, working-class London dude he adoringly echoed in 'Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels,' he's actually a privileged, prep school boy who chose to affect a gangland accent and walk with a street swagger. Brits can spot this at 100 yards, or hear it in an accent. Yanks, alas, can't... in the US, he's just the foreign half-wit who took Madonna from her American homeland and made her talk all funny." The Sun reported that the couple are living in "his and hers quarters" in an avoidance bid and "The marriage is hanging by a thread. No one doubts they adore their three kids, but the children seem to be the only reason they are living this strange loveless existence." However, according to a source speaking to those birds from The Mirror: "While Madonna's been in LA promoting her new album, (SUBTLE PLUG ALERT: 1) Hard Candy, Guy's been stuck in London on post-production for his next movie, (SUBTLE PLUG ALERT: 2) Rock N Rolla. But they're now back together and relishing proper family time. Madonna has gone all-out to organise a special evening this week, culminating in a romantic dinner and a games night." A games night? Now that's more fitting... The only person who has actually been talking to Madonna is her publicist, Liz Rosenberg: "All is well and wonderful in the Ritchie household. Their marriage is definitely not hanging by a thread. Madonna has no plans to move to New York... Separate wings? I think not. I am delighted to confirm (they) remain happily married... They're still both sharing Cloud 9 - as opposed to Client 9, ha-ha!" See?! Madonna's crotch sends people insane and shouldn't be repeatedly made available for public consumption (on April 29th, by all accounts) - at least Liz Rosenberg is paid to deal with it.