Whenever Lindsay gets led out of a courtroom in handcuffs, Michael Lohan is near a microphone spouting off the obvious on television. This time around, he was on Jane Velez-Mitchell's HLN show. Never heard of it either, but that doesn't make it any less helpful.

iVillage.com reports: "'She certainly doesn't look like the Lindsay that she used to be,' said Michael, who has not spoken to his daughter recently. 'She had her teeth fixed, thank God. But what caused her teeth to be fixed needs to be fixed itself.' Michael was referring to widely-circulated photos of Lohan with yellow, decaying teeth. She appears to have gotten them bleached before Wednesday's court hearing (which may account for the appearance of bruising on her cheeks). Though it's only speculation, Michael, a former drug addict himself, is convinced that the teeth are a symptom of illegal drug abuse. 'She's smoking either crack or meth. One or the other. I'm not going to shade it... If you're talking about prescription medication it would affect all your teeth, not just your two front teeth... You can't dance with the devil and expect to go home with Jesus. This kid is messing around with the wrong people'". She was also born to the wrong people, but daddy dear failed to mention that.

Michael then went on to uphold Charlie Sheen as an example of what to do: "Charlie Sheen is doing the right thing now finally. He got rid of his assistant. Lindsay has her assistant around her that just turns a blind eye. Charlie has people that actually are around him that said they'll call the cops if he does something wrong... She's beating the system. And she's not going to be working any more, and she's going to wind up in a morgue, if someone doesn't do something to get her help."

Lindsay's already at the morgue undertaking her court ordered community service.

Meanwhile, Lindsay's rep Steve Honig had this to say of her teeth: "Lindsay is widely acknowledged as one of the most stunning actresses of her day, and we get requests every week wanting to do photo shoots with her from top photographers. She's been on the cover of Vanity Fair and the top beauty and fashion magazines. She's a beautiful and glamorous actress. With everything going on - from deteriorating public education to rampant homelessness to international unrest - there is no way I'm going to comment on Lindsay's teeth."

Steve's clearly smoking something too.