About a week or two ago, 30-year-old Kelly 'don't mention the Big Breakfast. Or Love Island. Or Britain's Got Talent' Brook and 22 -year-old Danny 'rugger or die' Cipriani split up after nearly two years together. It was initially reported at her end that she didn't want to put up with women flinging themselves at him. She then backed 18,000 bikinis and headed off to be repeatedly "papped" frolicking about on a Caribbean beach with even younger, muscle bound blokes.
This alternative view of events has since come to the fore from his end: "She used to ring him up to eight times a day but Danny didn't have anything to say after the third call. Once she even rang him to say she couldn't find her earrings. And when they did go out, she would take up to three hours to get ready, this would infuriate him... Kelly knew it was coming but it was still a shock to her, she is unlikely to have ever been the one dumped before. They made a great couple but as time wore on they couldn't handle each other's traits."
Imagine: "Hi Danny! I just saw a big BUMBLE bee! I think it stole my personality *giggles uncontrollably for 18 minutes* I love you!... I love you! D'you love me?! I love you! *silence* OK, byeeee! No you hang u..."
In short, there's a window of captivation when one of the main things being brought to the table is a massive pair of breasts.
As for his hand, presumably it's a rugby related injury. Or he punched the wall during phone call number 6. Or knocked himself out during phone call number 7.
