Every couple of months, England's professional "geezah" at large decides to lash out at actors who've experienced more success than he. A while back, it was Orlando Bloom ("I do genuinely think Orlando Bloom is a c**t. I've never met him, but he's in the same game as me and he's loaded. I get a bit bitter, to be honest. I'm still living in the ghetto in East London and he's earning three million quid (pounds) a film. He got lucky. He came out of drama school and got Lord Of The Rings. He wasn't all that good in it, but it put him on the map, didn't it? He's the opposite of me. He's got no edge to him, he's well media-trained and, basically, he's boring. Plus, he can't act. And to me, that's quite an important thing for an actor").
Matthew Horne is the latest lucky recipient of Dyer's bile, not that he likes kicking dogs when they're down with "exhaustion", or anyfink: "Mathew Horne is one of the worst actors I've ever seen in my life. Corden's obviously OK ('cause he's a phat geezah, inney) but Mathew was terrible in The Catherine Tate Show. He's just got nothing about him, the geezer. No substance and no depth. It annoys me a bit that no one's clocked that. I'm not trying to do anyone out of a pound note, I just think they're s**t. Mat is absolute rubbish."
Gee, if the Dyer though Horne was rubbish on the Catherine Tate Show, he'd want to give Lesbian Vampire Killers, and BBC3 in general, a generous berth for the foreseeable. Otherwise he'll be storming out of his East Landan 'ovel and pigeon heading it round to Horne's presumably plush pad to terrorise him out of his fear-riddled sick bed.
Some people think Danny Dyer is a good actor *eyeballs certain individuals*. Personally, I fink 'e playz the same character in everyfink 'es evah bin in - from Football Factory to Football Hooligans International, or The Real Football Factories to whatever else he's been in. The same could be said for Orlando Bloom and Matthew Horne (but not Ewan McGregor, who he's also had a pop at), the only difference is, they're prettier than he is. Yep, as with most things superficial; if there's not a lot of talent there, it'll boil down to aesthetics. And the main reason Mathew Horne is on our TVs and had the opportunity to invade our cinemas is because he's been comparatively "the pretty one". And he's been damn good at it - I for one have been thankful for the visual respites. So leave him alone, Dyer, OK? *starts circling computer, brandishing fists*
Fans of Dyer will be chuffed to hear he's landed a role in EastEnders, which will be quite the stretch on his acting abilities.
