I'm torn. Danny Dyer's in this, so it must be leaning towards sh*te. As is 50 Cent. But it also features Brenda Blethyn. She's won a BAFTA and was nominated for an Academy Award. Then again, Halle Berry won an Oscar... she's not in this particular film, but she's been in some stinkers since Monster's Ball. Ooooooh. Mike just told me Rio Ferdinand and Ashley Cole produced this film. *backs away slowly*
Anyway, here are the photos of last night's world premiere of Dead Man Running, which took place in Leicester Square. What's it about? Honestly, I have no idea, nor a want to know. I'll wager it's about a running man who will find himself deceased fairly shortly. And, it's safe to say, the man Dyer's on the total 'orne for hiself, innit. And I'm not sure why Jamelia's swinging out of Fiddy, maybe she pulled a Davidson and hid out behind some bins down an alleyway until one of the stars arrived. I am, of course making that up. This is no word of a lie, though, Jamelia's dress is a good foot too short, and there's a time and a place to showcase your telekinetic powers.
Jamelia: "Whooop! I'm gonna get photographed with Fiddy! Hang about, my monster bag will hinder me pressing my shiny, shiny breasts against him."
Mel B: "D'you wanna see me shoes? An if ah throw ma head right back, like, yew can see me bewbs! Coooeeee - Stephen!"
Danny Dyer: "I got my teef whitened..."
Jamelia: "HA HAAA!"
Lisa Mafia: Lordy, LOOK at the length of Jamelia's dress. I ain't 'aving that…
Fiddy: "Seriously. Who is this woman? This isn't the one who sang American Boy, is it?"
Brenda Blethyn. Where did it all go wrong... Oh well. Buck up girl! We'll give Mike a call in the morning. We'll give Mike a call in the morning and eeeeverything is going to be tickety-boo.
Rio Ferdinand: "Yep, my girlfriend's respectable lookin'. AND I produced this sh*t. Full of it, me. With the surprises 'n sh*t.
Jeff Stewart: AHM GONNIE LET MA SHIRT DO THE TALKIN', AYE!'
DJ Ironik: "I is being ironik... Wif the blingin' chains, and the pointin', 'n fings."
Danny Dyer: These, 'ere, in my face. Whitened. They're as shiny as a star. A White Star, just like I am in this film.
Jo-Emma Larvin: "Come on Barbie, let's go party, aaah, aaaah, aaaaaah, yeah…"
Ashley Cole: "And pose... And pose... And pose... And breathe...And pose..."
Tiny Iron: "MY BICEPS HAVE BICEPS, AND MY BELT HAS A GUN. DON'T F**K WITH ME, MOFO. UMPH!"
Goldie: "I'm afraid one doesn't flash their bejewelled gnashers on cue anymore. It's ever since one took up the orchestral baton."
Danny Dyer: "TEEEEEEFFAH!"
Etc.
