Simon Cowell's latest venture is going really well, isn't it... Oh, my, what's this in the Guardian... "Simon Cowell's Red or Black? loses more than a million viewers... The main show lost 1.89m viewers between Saturday and Sunday night's episodes and the results show lost 1.76m viewers."

Now that is shocking, I mean, it's got all the ingredients for success: Lovable Geordie anchors; a community feel what with hundreds of people standing around for hours in the elements, roaring their heads off for no good reason; and no mental intellect required. There's even someone who needs a kidney transplant. I mean, it's The X Factor/Britain's Got Talent but the winner stands to get more money. How could it go wrong? You know, apart from "chance" choosing one Nathan Hageman as the show's first millionare.

Yesterday, SKY News reported: "The 31-year-old bricklayer from Reading was jailed for five years for attacking his ex-girlfriend's boyfriend after breaking into his flat. He told The Sun he had been receiving threatening calls from a man who said he was going to harm him. 'I tried to brush it off but he kept saying he was going to harm me. One night he told me my address and said he was going to come round and batter me in front of my mum and niece Mya, who was only about two.' Mr Hageman said he asked the police to help, but was told only to let them know if matters became more serious. He then decided to deal with the issue himself and went round to the man's house one night, broke in, and beat him up. He said: 'I was an idiot for doing it, I know, but that's the state of mind I was in. He wasn't seriously hurt, but he made a complaint and I was arrested. I was charged with aggravated burglary and ABH. I pleaded guilty straight away as I knew what I'd done was wrong. I got five years'."

And today, The Sun are saying it wasn't a bloke Hageman beat up, but his ex-girlfriend. Oh, and his current girlfriend too: "Bricklayer Hageman claimed yesterday he served half a five-year jail term for an attack on another man. But a court spokesman said he was in fact caged in 2006 for actual bodily harm on ex Amy Edwards. The Sun can also reveal he was arrested last year on suspicion of assaulting another unnamed woman, who refused to press charges. And last night relatives of Hageman's current girlfriend Jane Makepeace claimed she was treated in hospital for a suspected brain bleed after a violent row with him. Top-level ITV chiefs were locked in talks yesterday over whether to strip Hageman of the £1million prize he won with the spin of a roulette wheel on Saturday's Red Or Black game show."

Of the incident involving ex-girlfriend Amy, a source said: "Amy dumped him and he beat her up. She was petrified to be in her flat on her own because he threatened to kill her via text messages, emails and phone calls. One night she got a friend to stay. It was about 1am. She was in bed and he climbed in the window. He'd stolen a ladder from a neighbour. He punched and kicked her - she was a mess."  And the current girlfriend, Jane? Well, her sister Rebecca was willing to spill about her situation: "They've had a real up-and-down relationship over the last two years, very hostile. Jane was in hospital at one stage with a suspected bleed on the brain. I think it was a punch in the back of the head. She couldn't open her eyes. She couldn't move. My mum called the police. She couldn't understand why nothing ever came about. Police were involved quite a lot to be honest." Oh, and Hageman has also been menacing Jane's ex-boyfriend, and so on.

All that amazing PR aside, maybe viewers don't get much of a thrill out of seeing a giant dice being flumped into a quarry?