Well, I stand corrected. Cheryl Tweedy/Cole is not battling "exhaustion" (which may, or may not be, exacerbated by emaciation...). Cheryl Tweedy/Cole is in fact in hospital battling malaria.

It is thought the X Factor judge picked-up the potentially lethal mosquito-borne illness whilst holidaying in Tanzania with friend/dance partner/lovah Derek Hough a few weeks back, and it obviously lay dormant until now? Before we all start jumping to conclusions regarding her failing to take the required malaria/mania tablets - she had taken them... just not enough.

The diagnosis follows Cheryl's collapse during a photoshoot in London on Saturday. A source close to the singer told The Sun that by Sunday, Cheryl was slipping in and out of consciousness and was rushed to a Surrey hospital. "She told doctors she'd had stomach pains since her return from Tanzania. On Sunday evening her condition deteriorated so rapidly she knew it was something serious. She'd spent 48 hours in bed trying to sleep off what she thought was a stomach bug. She was extremely weak, sweating and drifting in and out of consciousness. She was driven to hospital where tests showed malaria. Everyone is really concerned. She is very ill."

She is expected to stay in hospital for another night and will be under close observation for the next two weeks. It is not yet known when she will be fit enough to return to X Factor, but Simon Cowell is said to have texted her saying: "Have some rest. Don't rush back."

Naw, wasn't that good of him... Ashley probably texted her a snap of himself in a Los Angeles club cupping a randomer's boobs by way of reassurance too.