Kelly Brook didn't teach Simon Cowell anything. What she should have tought him is that - and this is a sweeping generalisation - people who get photographed/are filmed running in slow-mo for a living don't always have an opinion worth airing.
Cowell, for some reason (TV), has chosen Carmen Electra to replace Amanda Holden while on maternity leave. This has displeased BGT audiences to the point of booing incessantly.
The Sun reports: "Their chants urging bosses to bring back new mum Amanda Holden grew so lairy that warm-up man Ian Royce was forced to make an onstage appeal for calm. He warned people they would be thrown out if they did not stop. Meanwhile in a shock twist, The Sun can reveal that Amanda, 40, offered to come back to the show today - just two weeks after giving birth to daughter Hollie. Audience members said show boss Simon Cowell, who picked American Carmen to replace Amanda when she left to have her baby, looked 'mad' at the interruptions. One said: 'He had a face like thunder. The flow of the show was ruined. Carmen was booed the second she opened her mouth, and all she did was tell a group they 'looked cute'. Carmen's discomfort appeared to be ramped up by her fellow judge, Little Britain funnyman David Walliams. Onlookers said he had a pop at her for her comments, which included asking what would happen to a 12-year-old singer when his voice broke. The witness said: 'David pulled a mocking face at her and told her it would get deeper - obviously... Everyone was shouting, 'Bring back Amanda'. They just thought Carmen was an airhead.' Amanda's comeback offer came in spite of her three days of intensive care after giving birth to Hollie. BGT chiefs declined, but said she could come back on Saturday for the Edinburgh auditions. A source said: 'Simon was refusing, saying that Carmen must stay. But she has gone down like a lead balloon with fans.' During Monday's auditions, Carmen performed a string of embarrassing dances as acts took the stage. At one point judge Alesha Dixon glared at Carmen and Simon after she caught them flirting."
Embarassing dances, booing, flirting with Simon, got it, Simon looking uncomfortable, Alesha getting annoyed, David Walliams getting smart, ok, ok, must tune in for that... this whole enforced controversy thing with reality TV shows will never get boringzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
In other news, what the f*** is Alesha Dixon at? Has Simon paid her more money to make Tulisa Constantinople comparatively resemble Coco Chanel? 'Cause he knows all about style?
