Naaaaw. D'you remember the good ole days, when things like "Is Dannii Minogue Coming Back To The X Factor?!" used to make headline news? Now stuff like "Beyonce offered 500m to judge on X Factor?" hardly generates an eyelid bat. Of course she's being offered 500million dollars by Simon Cowell, it's such a noble role.

Overlord McMogul features is thought to be keen on acquiring the Single Ladies hitmaker's services for five series as he searches for a 'big name' celebrity to replace axed former judges Nicole Scherzinger and Paula Abdul in order to improve the Fox show's ratings.

A source told MediaTakeout.com: 'He wants a big name female star on the panel. Mariah [Carey] is good, but she's not that hot today (also, her husband said something along the lines of "Why would my wife want to be on a show like that?" For somebody who has a legendary career, I don't know why they would." That's something coming from someone who hosts Simon Cowell's America's Got Talent). He wants Beyonce because that would immediately give him the bounce (hur, hur) needed to beat American Idol."

Meanwhile, Randy Give it up, Daaawg Jackson thinks Mariah would be an "amazing' US X Factor" judge and he hasn't ruled out the possibility of her joining the show. The American Idol panellist - who manages the 'Hero' singer - told reporters: "She'd be amazing. I mean, I manage her (had to get that in there), so of course I'm going to say that. She'd be amazing. I don't know if that's ever going to happen. Look, Simon's one of the smartest people I know. I'm sure he he's got some very interesting ideas up his sleeve." Or down the waist of his pants.

Despite Randy being a judge on rival show American Idol, he would have no problem with the brunette beauty joining US X Factor, adding: "She's her own person. She can of course do whatever she wants and she always will do that" - and garner you quite the percentage in the process.

After mumbling something about "Simon is one of my dearest friends in the world!" he then launched into his thoughts regarding Mr ITV O'Highpantsfireloghead essentially dropping one of his other dearest friends in all the galaxy, Paula Abdul: "I have not spoken to Paula. We texted back and forth. I'm sad to hear about what's going on with that show. All of those people are dear friends of mine."

We get it, Randy, you're connected. The mystery of how you're still on the American Idol panel has been solved.