Although Johnny Logan's a two-time Eurovision winner, he's become more known of late for his increasingly bizarre outfit choices.

Case in point being last night's edition of Miriam when Logan came out in a silver jacket, black V-neck shirt and gold chain. That, in comparison to the stately Phil Coulter, attracted attention online.

 

 

 

As we did more research, we found that this wasn't just a one-off. Logan has a history of fashion crimes against nature and decency. With that in mind, we've collated nine instances when Johnny Logan's outfits personally victimised everyone around it.

 

9. GARTH BROOKS' OLDER, MORE FASHION-FORWARD BROTHER

That belt-buckle screams divorced, childless man who prowled through Break For The Border in the early '90s. Since then, he's opened up a successful taxi-service in Finglas and he's on Tinder quite a bit. QUITE. A. BIT.

 

8. MIAMI VICE BACKGROUND EXTRA

The '80s was a huge time for Johnny Logan. Women spontaneously combusted at the sight of him and his swerving hips. At one point, a bronze statue of his 1987 victory at Eurovision was due to be commemorated. It was just going to be his hair and a microphone. It would have been glorious. This more recent outfit, however, makes it seem like he was a background extra in a half-decent episode of Miami Vice where Crockett investigated corruption at his old precinct.

 

7. THE DEL MONTE MAN

The Man From Del Monte always says yes to a photo opportunity.

 

6. THE WHOLE LEATHER THING

Johnny Logan's really into leather. Leather jacket. Leather gloves. Leather trousers. Leather. 

 

5. THESE SUNGLASSES

...look incredibly familiar.

Ah. That's it.

 

4. POST-APOCALYPTIC WANDERER / ENTERTAINER

In the grim, dark future of 50,000AD, there is a place where two singers enter and only one leaves. THIS IS EUROVISION. And then Johnny Logan comes out swinging and becomes King of Bartertown and marries Tina Turner.

 

3. HIS VAST COLLECTION OF SCARVES

Some believe Johnny Logan designs these scarves in between his Dream Weaving / Tantric Meditation sessions. Others believe they're made from the hides of former Eurovision contestants he defeated in glorious combat.

 

2. JUSTIFIED-ERA JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE'S DAD

He's a good sort, y'know. He's trying to help his son by dressing up like him. He means well.

 

1. SKINNY JEANS THAT WOULD OUT-SKINNY BARWORKERS IN THAT HIPSTER PUB EVERYBODY GOES TO

Logan's many years of squeezing into leather pants has meant that he now possesses the ability to do full splits in skinny jeans unassisted. You're all just visiting Johnny Logan's skinny jeans world - he lives there.