7 Things You Thought You Knew About Sex In Secondary School (NSFW)

Secondary school was such a simpler time for everyone. All you had to worry about was getting the shift on the weekend, not failing the Leaving Cert and hormones. Hormones EVERYWHERE.

And, like the innocent little yokes that we were, we had no clue about anything. Be it future careers, money, sex - anything important. We had no clue. Here's a little trip down Memory Lane where we relive the cringiest moments of our lives about the Birds & The Bees.

7. YOU WILL WALK DIFFERENTLY AFTER HAVING SEX

It's totally noticeable. You have, like, a bigger stride and your legs sit wider because you've had sex. Teachers notice it and then they tell your parents. This was applicable to both males and females.

6. BLOW-JOBS MEAN ACTUAL BLOWING AIR

There was always a chance this could be misconstrued as something completely different. Blow. Job. BLOW. JOB. It sounds like you're blowing air on a dick, right? Apparently not. And then, of course, there was always that rumour that went around school that some girl actually started blowing on a guy's willy.

5. YOU CAN GET CHLAMYDIA FROM EVERYTHING

Kissing without brushing your teeth? Chlamydia. Holding hands? Oh, you've got chlamydia now. We weren't even sure exactly what chlamydia was, but we knew it was rampant and the slightest sexual contact could set it off.

4. YOU HAVE TO GO UP TO DUBLIN TO BUY CONDOMS

You can't get them anywhere else. You definitely can't buy them in the local pharmacy. The woman behind the counter knows your Mammy and she'll tell her. You can't trust the ones you can buy in a pub either. You have to get them from a shop in town and you have to wear two of them. In fact...

3. YOU HAVE TO WEAR TWO CONDOMS

It can actually burst out of the johnny and you have to, HAVE TO wear two of them. And then she'll get pregnant and you won't be able to go to college.