The problem with getting older is that the musicians of your youth - which always seemed just that little bit older than you - are also getting on in years. Let's get this straight: 50 is by no means 'old', but it is a landmark birthday.
Below are the people – whether you believe us or not – who will be celebrating their half-century in 2017. Read it and weep (for your own childhood).
1. KURT COBAIN
If Kurt Cobain had been alive today, he would have turned 50 on February 20th. As we all know, the Nirvana frontman sadly died by his own hand in April 1994, but he will be remembered across the globe with a number of commemorative events – including one at Dublin's Button Factory on February 18th.
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2. R. KELLY
Yes, it's true: R. Kelly has already reached his half-century, in fact, as he turned 50 on January 8th. What did the r&b singer do to celebrate? To be honest, given his past form, we don't want to know.
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3. BILLY CORGAN
Oof, this one hit us hard. To us, Billy Corgan will always be the age that he is in the video for 'Tonight, Tonight', but the Smashing Pumpkins frontman and sometime wrestling magnate turns 50 on March 17th. If there's one thing to be said for going bald prematurely, it's that it helps with keeping your image consistent in the public's eye. Sort of.
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4. TONI BRAXTON
I know, I know – you're asking yourself HOW can Toni Braxton be 50? It seemed like only yesterday that she was crooning 'Unbreak My Heart' to a theatre of invisible people, but she turns 50 on October 7th and is looking bloody great for it, too.
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5. DAVID GUETTA
Whatever the 'F**k Me I'm Famous' superstar DJ is doing to keep himself young – bathing in the accumulated sweat of a thousand Ibizan club-goers every morning, perhaps – it's working. Maybe it's his French genes or his sunshine-filled life, or... nah. It's the fact that he is minted beyond belief, isn't it? He turns 50 on November 7th and we're guessing that the party won't be a civilised family affair.
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6. VANILLA ICE
Robert Van Winkle, how on earth have you a) managed to stretch an entire career out of one hit 27 years ago and b) managed to age so darned well? To give him credit, the 'rapper' could pass for early forties – but nope, he's 50 on October 31st, just weeks after his Dublin gig, in fact.
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7.NOEL GALLAGHER
Whoooshcoughsplutterfart. What was that sound? Our youth, fading away into the distance. The figurehead of Britpop – or at least one of them – turns 50 on May 29th, five years ahead of younger bro Liam. He's managing to age gracefully, though... for the most part. Those bourgeois south of France parties with Robert De Niro and Bono must have a part to play in it.
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8. BRETT ANDERSON
Another casualty of the Britpop wars turns 50 on September 29th. To give him credit, thanks to those angular cheekbones and the androgynous look he cultivated in his early years, the Suede frontman doesn't look his age. Still, though... we feel old.
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9. MACY GRAY
WHAAAAT? Believe it, people: Macy Gray enters her sixth decade this year. And get this: 'I Try' is 18 YEARS OLD this year. It meant that the Ohio-born singer was a late starter in terms of getting her career off the ground with the hugely successful 'On How Life Is', but damn, it's hard to believe that she's 50.
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10. KEITH URBAN
There's a lot to be said for a good pair of hair straighteners. Keith Urban, we know exactly what you were up to all this time: trying to fool us that you're younger than you really are by styling your hair like a '90s chewing gum model. Well, the facts don't lie: the Kiwi country singer (and husband of Nicole Kidman) is 50 on October 26th, just months after his wife turns the same age.
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