The Harry Hill Movie

What is it with British TV stars trying to make it on the big screen? Why haven't they learnt their lesson by now? Keith Lemon couldn't pull it off, Ant & Dec flopped with Alien Autopsy, and even genuine comedic talent Sasha Baron Cohen slipped up with The Ali G Movie. But here we are again, this time with the barely-tolerate-him-or-loathe-him Harry Hill, bringing his giant shirt collars and overly expressive face to a cinema near you.

Harry Hill plays "himself", and he's living with his nan (Julie Walters, it saddens me to see you here), and his pet hamster (voiced by Johnny Vegas). When the hamster gets sick, they bring it to the vet, which is run by Simon Bird (the glasses wearing one from The Inbetweeners), who is working for Harry's evil twin brother Otto (played by Matt Lucas, who has just dragged one of his characters from Little Britain kicking and screaming into this movie). Otto wants Harry's pet for some evil reasons, and… actually, you know what? The plot of this movie matters in the same way that the plot of a stand-up comedian's act matters; there might be some kind of through-line, but mostly it's just an excuse for the lead person to be funny.

The real question, and the only reason you might go to see this movie in the first place is: Do you find Harry Hill funny? Anyone who's watched his TV shows will know that he does bring a kind of mad-cap, surrealistic bent to things, as the (admittedly kind of entertaining) opening sequence of this movie alone features a low-speed mobility scooter chase and a shoot-out with a bunch of chickens will attest to. But is it funny? Short answer: No. This is like watching a drunk, slightly insane grown-up try to make a live-action version of the Teletubbies. Things just happen, without reason or consequence, and we're expected to go with it just because it doesn't take itself seriously, so then neither should we.

Once Jim Broadbent shows up in drag as a three-armed nuclear power plant cleaner, it's clear that this movie is going to destroy everything it touches, including your precious time. Avoid.