The Bling Ring

Based on the true story of a group of fame-obsessed Hollywood teens who broke into the mansions of celebrities to steal their clothes, shoes and jewellery, The Bling Ring plays like Spring Breakers-lite, in a world where superficiality is everything. Despite the fact that Emma Watson is placed front and centre of the publicity campaign, this movie actually focuses on Marc (Israel Broussard) who has just moved to a new school. He soon becomes BFFs with top-tier popular girl Rebecca (Katie Chang), a Regina George without the wit, who enjoys nothing more than breaking into people's cars and homes and just taking their stuff. Before long they're Googling to see which local celebrities are out of town so they can B&E their houses and pocket their designer swag. Bragging about it brings in even more teenage girls (Watson, Taissa Farmiga, Georgia Rock and Claire Julien) who also possess a YOLO approach to the law. These aren't just Mean Girls. These are the Meanest Girls.

It's clear what writer/director Sofia Coppola (Lost In Translation) is trying to achieve. She's showing us the shallow nature of celebrity within a film just as shallow, filled with characters who can't go five seconds without Instagramming duck-face selfies. Sadly though, it fails completely. The dialogue is a mixture of "That's hot/cute" and an endless list of fashion designer names, and the acting quality is all over the place. Broussard and most of the girls, including Watson, pull off the vacuous California drawl and attitude, but they're all so interchangeable that it barely matters. However, compared to a dead-eyed Leslie Mann and a simply-unable-to-act Gavin Rossdale, they all deserve Oscars.

It's difficult to believe that there are people who existed that were THIS aimlessly empty, but then it's just as difficult to believe that superstar A-listers would purchase expensive CCTV security systems, but then forget to lock their doors. The whole movie is like a Best (Worst?) Of MTV, a mix of The Hills, Cribs and Sweet Sixteen, and we mean that in the worst way.

If there is a lesson to be taken home from this (such as 'celebrities with their endless DUIs and rehabbing make for bad role-models', or 'we shouldn't make celebrities out of people who have accomplished nothing') it's lost in the midst of a hip-hop soundtrack to young people partying in nightclubs having the time of their lives. Which is kind of sending a mixed message if you ask us.