Regression

Why does Ethan Hawke continuously choose films like this? Honestly. Someone needs to sit him and his agent down have a very long, considered discussion about why he continuously chooses piss-poor scripts like this.

We all know he's a capable actor, one that's done sterling work in the likes of Boyhood, Training Day and Gattaca, so why does he continue to slum it in bargain-bin horrors like this? Hawke plays a detective in small-town America who's confronted with a case unlike any other. A father (David Dencik) who's a recovering alcoholic is accused by his daughter (Emma Watson) of sexually abusing her and her estranged brother (Devon Bostick). The father, however, has no memory of doing this. As part of his recovery, he's taken refuge in religion and the local church to battle his addiction.

Unable to draw out the memories from him, Hawke turns to psychologist David Thewlis - who really should know better - to help with it by hypnotising his interviewees. From there, it becomes more and more bizarre. When we say bizarre, we mean REALLY bizarre. As it turns out, the father and a good few of the locals are involved in Satanic Ritual Abuse, or SRA, and it's up to Ethan Hawke and his plucky psychologist sidekick to figure it all out.

Except, of course, you will figure it all out in about ten minutes of watching this. Really. Maybe fifteen, if you're a bit of gullible. What makes Regression so frustratingly terrible is that there's a pretty decent idea behind it all. Satanic Ritual Abuse caused a moral panic in the early '90s, where the film is set, and is ripe for a real examination of how it came to be. This, naturally, isn't it at all. The script's pathetic attempts at subterfuge and misdirection are handled so poorly, it's laughable. So to is the dialogue, which just plumbs the absolute depths of stereotypical "damaged cop" tropes. The direction, for the most part, is lazy and uninventive and barely gets across any kind of atmosphere to the film at all.

Because of the terrible dialogue and a story that makes no sense whatsoever, the performances are uniformly sub-standard. Ethan Hawke's trying to channel True Detective with his thousand-yard stares and internal monologue whilst Thewlis, who honestly is far and away better than this crap, tries desperately to give it a sense of gravitas. Instead, he comes off flat. Emma Watson, meanwhile, seems to do nothing except cry unconvincingly and dress like a castmember of The Waltons.

Don't waste your money on this. There's far better films out this weekend.