Need for Speed

Video game fans have been dying - DYING! - for someone in Hollywood to finally get a video game-to-movie adaptation right, and with Need For Speed, the elements were all in place. An in-demand leading actor, a genre that’s hot right now thanks to a certain fast and furious franchise, and the ability to pin whatever story they might want to hinge the chases and crashes altogether. Unfortunately, video game fans, we are the bearer of bad news, as this is not the movie you’ve been waiting for.

Aaron Paul plays Jesse Pinkm- sorry, Tobey Marshall,- a hot-shot driver and mechanic with an unexplained hatred for rich prettyboy Dino Brewster (Dominic Cooper). When a street-race between the two of them ends in tragedy and with Marshall behind bars, after he is released, he vows revenge… by beating Brewster at a mythical royal rumble-esque race, hosted by madman millionaire Monarch (Michael Keaton). With beautiful back-seat driver Julia (Imogen Poots) in tow - since it’s her super expensive car he’s driving to win the race - they set off, but not before Dino puts a bounty on their heads.

Video game fans will know that there are plenty of racing games out there - Destruction Derby, WipEout, Twisted Metal, Micro Machines - that would be better suited to the big screen, as all the Need For Speed movie has done is managed to insert long, dull conversations between races, and who wants that? At least the Fast and Furious movies knew they were kinda dumb and having fun, but Need For Speed is so po-faced that there’s no real sense of exhilaration or escapism to be had.

Yes, the cars are very pretty, and yes, one or two of the races are well choreographed and a little bit pulse pounding, and yes, Aaron Paul acts a small hole in the screen, bringing a performance unworthy of the film he’s in, but as far recommendations go, that’s it.

Cooper is one of the worst cinematic villains in recent memory, the dialogue is mostly terrible, the supporting characters mostly annoying, and the plot tends to screech and lurch and U-turn without much provocation or explanation - plus the whole film is about forty minutes too long.

Sorry video game fans, looks like we’ll have to hold out for that Assassin’s Creed movie.