Grudge Match

They kind of shot themselves in the foot here. They had on their hands on a working, if silly, story, as the last Rocky proves that an old-guy-in-the-ring plot can make for a decent movie. But Grudge Match opts for gags that creak and groan instead.

Henry 'Razor' Sharp (Stallone) and Billy 'The Kid' McDonagh (De Niro) were two rival Pittsburgh pugilists in the early 80s, with one title winning bout apiece. Now down on his luck and in need of cash Razor is convinced by wannabe promoter Dante (Kevin Hart) to take part in a grudge match - Grudgement Day! - with his old enemy. Getting them in the same room together proves difficult as longstanding rivalries and tensions surface again however.

Grudge Match is as funny as director Peter Segal's other comedies: if you guffawed your way through The Longest Yard, Anger Management, 50 First Dates and Get Smart, chances are you will here too. But in reality Stallone and De Niro's verbal sparring lacks all kinds of timing while Rocky and Raging Bull are lazily mined for imagery (Stallone punches frozen meat in a locker; De Niro's comic act in a bar is heckled). Meanwhile Arkin is Arkin again and Camden Grey, playing De Niro's grandson, reaches Jake Lloyd levels of irritation. Busting a gut trying to give his unfunny lines a giggle, Kevin Hart is forced to ad-lib with cringey results. Canned laughter might have helped.

The dramatic moments work though. Or at least work better than the comic scenes. There's the retired Stallone living in a rundown house under a bridge whose factory paycheck goes to keeping surly former trainer Alan Arkin in a nursing home. There's De Niro’s relationship with his adult son (an impressive John Bernthal) in a subplot that is unaware it's in a comedy). There's a car crash. And while the final fight might lack Rocky/Bull levels of oomph there are some nice touches. The rekindled Stallone/Basinger romance never gets off the ground however.

One thing remains glaring though. Studio executives believe that Stallone, Arnie, De Niro et al are still bankable and that movie-goers will pay to watch men in their late sixties doing their thing. Here's hoping they extend the same amount of belief to women one day.