3 Days To Kill

After watching a film this bad one can be prone to hyperbole but it’s no stretch to say that this is the worst movie associated with both McG and Luc Besson, which is some doing considering between them they are responsible for This Means War, Taxi, The Fifth Element, From Paris With Love and both Charlie's Angels movies.

Kevin Costner (present but tired) is a CIA spook diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. Given only months to live, he makes for Paris to amend ties with his estranged wife (Nielsen, pointless) and grumpy teenager daughter (Steinfeld, solid). However, he's approached by Amber Heard (Maxim photo-shoot) with one last job – pull it off there's the possibility of extended life thanks to a radical new drug she just happens to have in her possession...

McG doesn't understand that there’s more to this directing lark than pointing the camera at the actor, which is why his films have as much depth as his music videos (his frat boy nickname signposts what he brings to a movie). McG is unable to locate the sweet spot here, that right mixture of violence and humour essential to making this action comedy work. And that's all he had to do – that and not turn Kevin Costner into charmless lump, which is what poor Kev turned out to be. One scene has Costner, busting a gut to be charismatic, teaching Steinfeld how to ride a bike – McG shot the scene from different angles, watched it back in the edit, and again during the previews, and still felt it didn't look like one of the most ridiculous things ever. He's clueless.

But then the writing doesn't help him out. Luc Besson (teaming up here with his From Paris With Love co-writer Adi Hasak – how many warnings do you need?) writes bad 80s action movies for impressionable boys too young to experience them first time around. He drenches his story in absent-dad-does-right cliches: dad refers to something daughter used to be into, daughter points out she's not a little girl anymore, etc.

The good news is we're still here: McG has directed a Luc Besson script and the universe hasn't collapsed in on itself - it's saving that for the Michael Bay/Adam Sandler collaboration.