There's a good reason for that, of course.

It's mainly down to the fact that Connery retired after making The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, a film so bad that it actually made Connery hate making films. In fact, the behind-the-scenes drama was so terrible that both Connery and its director, Stephen Norrington, both walked away from their respective careers.

It's that bad. Well, no, it's OK. It's just working together obviously made them hate both their jobs and one another.

Anyway, Sean Connery's website is a lovely little time capsule of early '00s web design. You can experience it all for yourself at SeanConnery.com.

Let's start off with the landing page.

We should point out that it looks TINY on our Desktop screen. Also, each time you log on, you get a different message from different people around the world. That's lovely.

 

That's got to be the most CGI'd, air-brushed picture we have ever seen. Is it from a film? We're pretty sure it's from Entrapment. Good film, by the way. Did you know it was directed by Antonie Fuqua? He's the guy who did Training Day, don't you know. Also, check out Sean Connery giving mad props to Chad and Stanley who were clearly sitting on the domain name for a quick payday. James, we're guessing, was the Webmaster. James, this place hasn't been updated in thirteen years. You're doing a terrible job, James. GET IT TOGETHER, JAMES.

 

The filmography page. Was IMDb a thing back in 2003? Who knows. What's more, when you click into it, there's even a little information each film. It's like he was trying to start up a Sean Connery-only IMDb thing. What if Sean Connery had the idea for IMDb before anyone else? Holy shiiit...

 

The links page. Remember links page? How come they're not a thing anymore? Look at the headline on the page. "Sean Connery believes in helping others." Well, of course he would. Sean Connery also believes in oxygen. Sean Connery believes in Euclid's theorem. Sean Connery believes in the theory of gravity. Sean Connery, however, does not believe in a flat Earth. Sean Connery believes in this website. To find out more, please visit SeanConneryBelivesInThings.com

 

Sean Connery is not merely a star, people. HE IS A SUPER-STAR. AND YOU WILL RESPECT HIM OR DIE. Also, a lot of this biography is dedicated to Sean Connery's tattoos and semi-naked pictures of Sean Connery. Not even joking here.

 

There's also a ScreenSaver - remember those? - that we downloaded. The website says it works for Windows 95 or above and, thankfully, it worked for us. We get that Sean Connery's more or less checked out of the whole celebrity gig and that's completely understandable.

We did, however, leave him a message through the website's Send A Message To Sean Connery service. Not gonna lie, we're not really expecting a response here but we'll update as soon as we get one.