Star Rating:

The Expendables 3

Director: Patrick Hughes

Actors: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Rhonda Rousey, Jet Li, Kellan Lutz, Mel, Harrison Ford

Release Date: Saturday 30th November 2013

Genre(s): Action

Running time: TBC minutes

Sylvester Stallone and his crew of merry mercenaries are back in the third installment of the gleefully cheesey/brazenly ridiculous action franchise. Essentially the cinematic equivalent of throwing enough sh*t at the wall in the hope of something sticking (a barrage of new names are added to the already stuffed cast), the third in the series is better than the last one (thanks to Mel Gibson), but not on par with the, hardly lofty, heights of the first.

While you can forgive the silliness of proceedings by ultimately admitting that you know what you're letting yourself in for, the fact that The Expendables 3 is a 12A is ultimately unforgivable.

Adding several more names, a balance of older and younger stars (to grab a demo that couldn't care less about guys who were marquee names in the 80s and 90s), veterans Wesley Snipes, Kelsey Grammer and Antonio Banderas debut alongside other series newbies Harrison Ford and Mel Gibson (giving easily the best performance as a snarling villain). Meanwhile boxer Victor Ortiz, UFC star Ronda Rousey and Twilight quad muscle Kellan Lutz are there to pad out Stallone’s new team of Expendables, as he worries that his trusted regular gang are too close to being killed to death after a mission gets messy and one of the team is badly hurt.

Look, we all know why we’re here; the kind of quips that Shane Black pioneered and then lampooned, and some ace action. The former, well, Arnold Schwarzenegger says ‘get to the chopper’ more than once; while when Snipes is asked why he was in prison responds “tax evasion”. It’s funny because it’s… true?

As for the latter, Aussie helmer Patrick Hughes amps things up in the admittedly entertaining final third after a choppy start. He’s got the remake of The Raid next to really impress, but there’s very little he could do here to distinguish this film from any of the others. It's difficult to portray any sort of flair when juggling that many personalities on screen

It's like ramming your suitcase full of clothes before going on holidays, only to realise it's too heavy and you either have to lose some clobber, or pay the penalty. A simplified analogy that may be, the first film worked predominately because of the gleefully unhinged violence and the novelty factor.

Pretty much everyone looks either happy to be there (Lutz), or is dialling it in (Ford), while the awkward exhanges between characters are at times cringe inducing.

Despite a couple of fun moments and a solid turn from Gibson it's fair to say the novelty has worn off.