Take this with a Death Star-sized pinch of salt.
A user on Internet cess-pool 4chan CLAIMS he's found out the plot for Episode VII: The Force Awakens.
Again, we cannot stress the fact that this is most likely just a really well-written fan theory, but hey - December 2015 is a long time away and we've got to fill the Star Wars void somehow.
Continue reading at your own risk.
Still here? OK. Here's the skinny.
The film opens approximately 40 years after Return of the Jedi and the New Republic / Rebel Alliance are locked in a war of attrition. The opening crawl talks about the ongoing turmoil in the galaxy and how the fall of the Emperor left a void of power.
The current state of war is described as Europe 1944 - the Empire is obviously Germany and the New Republic are the Allies; they've got the upper hand.
John Boyega's character is a Force-sensitive stormtrooper under the command of Gwendoline Christie. He defects from the Empire over the course of the movie and winds up stranded on Tatooine. He's hunted as a deserter throughout the film.
Gwendoline Christie's character is an Inquisitor - they're Jedi who worked for the Empire and are essentially tracker dogs.
Daisy Ridley's character lives on Tatooine with Max von Sydow's character, who is a cyborg who fought in the Clone Wars. He's hiding out in a downed AT-AT and is said to have a connection to the Empire. He collects relics, has a fascination with history and is said to be an ambiguous, sort-of villain. Apparently, he'll play an existing character from the prequels that will shock viewers. Our guess? Boba Fett.
Ridley is the daughter of Han Solo and Princess Leia, but has kept her identity secret.
Luke Skywalker has gone into hiding since the end of Return of the Jedi and is living on a secluded planet - Skellig Michael, probably - where it's believed he's trained a handful of new Jedi. Lupita N'yongo's character is one of them, she plays Luke's current apprentice.
Oscar Isaac's character is called Darklighter - he's a hot-shot X-Wing pilot and will eventually inherit the Millennium Falcon from Han Solo. Adam Driver's character is also an X-Wing pilot, but will eventually fall to the dark side. His transformation only begins in Episode VII and that's the guy with the weird lightsaber we saw in the trailer.
Andy Serkis' character is a Sith alien who it's understood has been alive for VERY long time and is very, very powerful. He corrupts Adam Driver's character and it's implied he trained the Emperor long ago. Our guess is that it's Darth Plageuis the Wise from Revenge of the Sith.
Lawrence Kasdan wrote all the lightsaber battles - of which there are many - and they're all minimalistic and very powerful.
So, initial thoughts on all of this? It's hard to say, really. We've heard so many potential plots and descriptions of the teaser that it's more than likely possible that this is all bullshit.
According to the leaker, February will see all of the above confirmed as the British crew who worked on the film will no longer have anything to do with it contractually.
Again, we have to stress that NONE of this is confirmed. The supposed trailer description we reported on a few weeks ago turned out to be bullshit - so there's a better than decent chance this too is lies.
What do you think? Any of this sound plausible? Let us know in the comments!