By now, there's a good chance you've already caught the trailer for 'Hobbs & Shaw' and understood the general intent of the movie itself.
It's basically going to be two-and-a-bit hours of Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham trading punches with Idris Elba to '70s funk classics by War. Maybe that's just the trailer, though.
At any rate, here's the 11 most batshit moments from the trailer for 'Hobbs & Shaw', with a handy visual guide to point them out to you.
11. Idris Elba's bad guy introduces himself as "a bad guy"
Sure, that's pretty on the nose there, Idris Elba. But come on, maybe you're not all bad. Maybe you're just misunderstood. Maybe you enjoy the works of Susan Sontag and have some very progressive ideas about the role of women in politics. You can't just go around introducing yourself as "a bad guy" just because you wear a motorbike suit and carry a gun on your person.
10. Idris Elba's self-proclaimed "bad guy" is able to punch steel apparently
To be fair, before he introduced himself as the "bad guy", he talked about being human evolution and there was even lasers doing stuff to his back so obviously that's where the steel-punching powers come from. Good for him.
9. This is the Most Resilient Champagne Bottle In The World™
And Jason Statham is using it to be beat a man to death at a fashion show with it. How rude.
8. The big "DECEASED" sign over Idris Elba's "Bad Guy"
Is anyone really dead until they have a very legible piece of text over a decent picture of themselves with the words "DECEASED" on it? Maybe not. Makes you think.
7. The fact that this window survived a chair-shot from The Rock
Dwayne Johnson isn't wrestling anymore, but when he was The Rock, he could deliver a chair-shot like no other. But how about the fact that he just hurled a chair at that glass and it didn't break? No follow-through and the glass did a no-sell. Poor form. Furthermore, why are Hobbs and Shaw in a room together? Don't you stupid CIA suits know these guys hate each other?! ARE YOU ASKING FOR TROUBLE?
6. The fact that Hobbs and Shaw are able to copy one another's sentences
Calling bullshit on this because there's clearly a scene where they rehearsed this beforehand to freak out the CIA suits. Also, check out the sweet double-point action here. Nice.
5. Idris Elba has a flamethrower
Come on, Idris Elba! You're not a bad guy just 'cos you've got a flamethrower! You're not that guy!
4. Idris Elba is basejumping out of a skyscraper in London with Princess Margaret on his shoulders
Fine, Vanessa Kirby, not the actual Princess Margaret. Although, to be fair, if it was actually a member of the Royal family, that'd probably make about as much sense as any of this.
3. Hitting an emergency stop button makes elevators go faster
That's what we've been doing wrong all these years!
2. The Rock can freefall, land perfectly on a henchman, beat him up, and then jump to the next henchman
*R. Kelly's 'I Believe I Can Fly' plays softly before it's quickly turned off, following a hushed discussion about 'Surviving R. Kelly' and its implications*
1. The Rock kills a guy with an elevator
Does 'A Star Is Born' have a moment where Lady Gaga kills a guy with an elevator? How about 'The Favourite', then? Can Daniel Day-Lewis or Christian Bale convincingly jump off a building and smash a guy's head into an elevator? Maybe, to be fair, they're both very into their craft and method acting.