During our Seven Films In Need Of A Defence feature, we received a comment from one of you - our lovely, beautiful, handsome, intelligent readers.
"Do one on overrated movies!"
We live to serve here, so we've done just that. Here now, our choice of eight seriously overrated movies...
8. NAPOLEON DYNAMITE
Look, we get it. It's quirky, it's weird. It's got some quotable moments and it gave Jon Heder a career boost that he's since squandered. What's he been doing since then? They made a Napoleon Dynamite cartoon series? Yeeshk. Anyway, for all its quirkiness and whatnot, there really wasn't a lot going in Napoleon Dynamite. That dance sequence blew up for about twelve minutes and then, poof. Gone. Much like our love for this film.
7. BLACK SWAN
Yes, Black Swan featured in our 10 Thrillers You Need To See Before You Die list. No need to remind us, smartarse. However, in the fullness of time, we've realised that Darren Aronofsky's weird tale of experimenting ballet dancers was a bit... meh. Natalie Portman's performance comes over as flat and uninteresting and the camerawork is all over the place. Use a tripod, Aronofsky. It's not giving it life or verve, we can't see what the dancers are doing. And it's ballet. Who gives a toss about ballet besides ballet enthusiasts? Also, that lesbian scene was thrown in for pure shock value. Nothing else.
6. SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
Slumdog Millionaire is a fine movie. It's nice, it's heartwarming, it's whatever. It is not, however, Danny Boyle's best work. As you watch it, you can see that he's not trying to push himself. There's no sense of urgency about it. It's about a cute kid who grows up on the streets of India, makes a name for himself on a quiz show, blah blah blah. Lifting scenes from Bollywood tropes, as well, is just damn lazy. FYI, Danny Boyle's most underrated film is Trance. Mic drop.
5. THE HANGOVER
How this film got not one, but TWO SEQUELS is an absolute mystery to us. We're guessing it has something to do with everyone wanting to schtoop Bradley Cooper. In any case, The Hangover was a by-the-numbers late-night comedy that somehow amassed a following. If anyone tells you The Hangover is their all-time favourite comedy, back away slowly and report them to the authorities. They're broken biscuits.
It's all cute and cuddly, but honestly, Amelie was a load of cobblers. For one, it was presenting an idealised version of Paris that was pretty insulting. Audrey Tautou's character f*cked us off with her quirkiness, the whole thing screamed Manic Pixie Dream Girl bulls*it and the soundtrack was pants. You're going to use accordions in a French film? That's like having an Irish film with only trad fiddle music.
When we first saw Gravity, we'll admit that we were blown away by the visuals. On an IMAX screen, it was an experience. Sandra Bullock's performance was invigorating - but did it translate to the small screen? Absolutely not. Gravity was more like a rollercoaster ride than a film. It was a spectacle, but one that couldn't be replicated anywhere else. And that's what made it so overrated. It only worked on one medium. It couldn't be enjoyed again, unless you happened to own your own IMAX screen. Also, the ending bugged us. Sorry.
2. STAR WARS: EPISODE IV - A NEW HOPE
Put down your pitchforks, friends, and let's talk this through. Yes, the first Star Wars was groundbreaking. It birthed a trilogy that reshaped how we look at blockbusters. It gave us Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Darth Vader. It is an intrinsic part of popular culture and holds a deep, meaningful place in many people's hearts - our own included. But you've got to honestly sit back and look objectively at A New Hope. The dialogue was clumsy as all hell, Carrie Fisher's performance was one-dimensional, Harrison Ford seemed embarrassed to be saying the words and the sets looked like they were made from cardboard. Probably because they were. Any real fan of Star Wars will admit these facts and tell you that The Empire Strikes Back was the best in the series. No, we're not going to engage in George Lucas-bashing - but he did the right thing by passing it on to someone else.
1. LES MISERABLES
Yes, everyone's singing. But come on - do they have to sing EVERYTHING? And what was up with the camerawork? Could they not sort out a tripod or some form of steadicam, no? Were they trying to make it seem like a documentary or something? Also, Russell Crowe trying to sing is just hilarious. He can't sing. Yes, we know he was in a rockabilly band. He can't sing. And Anne Hathaway's cry-face is so clearly played for the Oscar voting committee. It all feels way too contrived and calculated, too clearly working an angle on the audience and too much of a work to be taken seriously.