Good Easter weekend everyone? Feeling a trifle brain dead like myself? (the dubious contents of my skull have been replaced by scrunched up bits of Easter Egg foil. Egg foil and half-digested hot cross buns).
Let's consider the afterlife for a moment. If you were dead, free of the confines of your physical being, and could therefore float about pretty much anywhere you please, would you choose to hang about a lump like Katie Price? Personally, I'd be hovering around Johnny Depp's gaff in sunny France, not the abode of some charred harpy in Brighton.
Today's Sun brings us the news that Katie believes an old lady "haunts her top floor" (of her house, that is), and "a male presence hangs around her sunbed." OK, her rampant disregard of Alex is well documented (her behaviour on Channel 4's Comedy Gala was hurtful. I almost felt sorry for him [not so sorry that I'd be arsed repeating what happened here, mind]), but that's taking the piss a bit.
Seemingly Ms Bapular Spectacular has recruited the talents of TV psychic Sally Morgan, who had this to report: "Spirits are drawn to Katie. I believe they were attracted by the negative energy created when she and her ex husband Peter Andre split up. She's an extreme person - just the type of personality spirits are attracted to. She's open to the idea they exist, but wants proof. That's why they manifested themselves in her home... Katie could attract spirits wherever she lives. She's nervous about something like this happening again. I have told her I will be happy to carry out a psychic survey if she finds a place she wants to buy. I'd feel if there were any presences. I'd be able to discover how long they'd been there, who they were and, most importantly, whether Katie's psychic energy would disturb them."
Hmm. Silicon emits a disturbing psychic energy. Who knew? Here Sally, while you're at it, why not propose you move into Katie's new mansion, you know, to protect her from the legion of spirits you insist are haunting her boobs? Nice little earner there. Perhaps you could also suggest she housebounds herself for, let's say, a period of 18 months so she can bond fully with her new friends.
