Woke up this morning with 'The World is a Vampire' rollicking through the head. I then remembered that, just before last night's Tylenol put a welcomed end to the day, I'd been squinting at Questions and Answers.

I learned three things before going on the nod. 1) Willie O'Dea is a freaky looking little fecker that, frankly, shouldn't be allowed. Full stop. Sure, politics isn't about aesthetics (except when it comes to cars - they're mad for their ministerial Mercs), but he hasn't exactly got any talent to back up his quite frightening appearance. Public speaking isn't exactly his forte, given last night's repetitions of "We need beeyons and beeyons... Dis is a gloooowball problem, a GLOOOWBALL problem (convenient, minister)... I've nivver rabbed anybody, I've nivver rabbed anybody... I'm here to communicate with to deh people..." Yeeeeeah. Badly. All this is usually peppered with a machine gunning of "BUT-BUT-BUT-BUT-BUT". As for the visual on offer, it's noble that he's drafted in Noah to part his steely green tatch of hair. Shame he's enlisted what can only be a baby badger to reside upon his upper lip. On a positive; at least he's minister for defence - who'd want to invade a country that counts such creatures among its inhabitants.

The second thing I learned is that Questions and Answers should go by the name of Questions and Questions. I don't watch this programme enough to make an assumption, but is John Bowman a fit chairman? He permits pre-chosen members of the audience to ask in excess of five questions in a row (by pointing his magic pen at them), he then fails to get answers for at least four of said questions. What's the point in asking them in the first place if they're going to be left abandoned in an RTE studio? Another quibble is how he allows whatever Fianna Fail and Fianna Gael representatives happen to be present bicker and barge over each other until it becomes an unbearable barraging hum of "If you let me FINISH, minister... IF YOU JUST LET ME... EH, EH, EH, EEEEEEH - BUT-BUT-BUT-BUT..." and so on. Maybe John's given up now that he knows he's being replaced at the end of the season by a professional plank.

The third and final enlightenment was the most infuriating, and it came from TCD's Associate Professor in Finance, Brian Lucey and his pink tie. He informed me that ex-heads of state, like Mary Robinson, continue to receive six figure sums for their service - despite not even being of pensionable age (OK at least she, in this hack's opinion, is someone who seemed to venture beyond her duties of ribbon cutting/smiling/nodding/attending international rugby matches). And then came the almighty clanger… did you know "Our Taoiseach earns more than Barack Obama"... now that's a F***ING embarrassment.

Today, at 3.20pm, our finance minister, Brian Lenihen (who probably earns about the same as Obama, give or take a few thousand), will deal us "one of the most crippling budgets ever" - complete with a doubling of his levy. There's no other thing for it. We need someone who knows how money should work (and it doesn't involve shovelling it into one's back pocket). They also need to be in possession of enough charisma to represent us to the rest of the world. It's been said before, and now I'm saying it again - we need a celebrity economist to lead the country.