More than a few things happened last night, which would have been best avoided.
Firstly, The Spice Girls winning Best Performance of the Last 30 Years over Michael Jackson... The recipients of the award, Mel B and Geri Halliwell, then taking every opportunity to thank people they'd forgotten to thank, like the other Spice Girls... Sam Fox gracing the proceedings with her bumbling presence to showcase how her presenting skills have in fact deteriorated since the 80s... The dipping of the audio a various key points (Lily Allen's acceptance speech being the exception)... Jonathan Ross's get up (although Lady GaGa turning up to accept her award off him with teacup in hand was a giggle after she was reportedly so embarrassed by her affectation on his show last April)... Liam Gallagher holding Noddy Holder in a death grip, before not thanking the driving force behind Oasis after the band won Best Album of the Last 30 Years. Liam then lopping the mic and the award into the crowd... although kudos to Peter Kay for calling him a knobhead. That was his funniest line of the night, apart from introducing JLS as 'the black version of Bucks Fizz' and Lady GaGa as 'New York's answer to Sue Pollard'... JLS winning British Breakthrough Act... Mel B's hair... We could go on.
The most questionable event of last night, however, was one Mrs. Cole's performance (footage in Best Of The Web). On one hand, it was insurmountably commendable to get up onstage after her husband has gone out of his way to make a mockery of their marriage. On the other hand... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Cracking opener ('til the vocals, that is). The dancing, spot on - if a little reminiscent of certain Jacksons. But the atrociously out of sync miming to that song of all songs... *curls foetal*. I'm torn, but the audience wasn't; she got a standing ovation for her wild eyed, purposeful routine. If it were me, I would've abandoned that song, either doing something entirely different or bounding off into the night leaving the time slot open for Aston from JLS to backflip himself into an oblivion. Then again, I'm a bit of a coward. Then again, again, I would have issues putting a legion of dancers out of work for the night on the basis that my husband's an inflatable pant wearing basic.... QUANDRY.
UPDATE: The Sun, who failed to make reference to the miming in any form (probably to make up for the fact that they've exposed her husband in more ways than one), have just reported a sighting of Cheryl in Heathrow this morning. Seemingly she's departing on "a scheduled trip" to L.A. She was wearing her wedding ring. Not the one they made their vows with, no, the replacement one Ashley got her after he diddled the hairdresser.
