Jet lag's a baaaystid. As is returning home to 10 degree heat after basking in the glow of 87 Fahrenheit in Central Park *shivers*. Well, at least we didn't contract Swine Flu (which is going to GET US ALL - according to CNN, ABC, MSNBC, CBS and largely FOX). But more about New York related happenings in a spell; in the mean time, here's a couple of things worthy of comment.

Golden Girl Beatrice Arthur died over the weekend, aged 86. She was most famed for her role as Dorothy Spornack in the hit 80s comedy, but also played parts in Malcolm in The Middle (the one where she's Dewey's babysitter and they end up dancing the tango, before she dies and he runs off after a large balloon), Curb Your Enthusiasm, All My Family and Maude. She's the second Golden Girl to go to the great lanai in the sky; Estelle Getty, who played her 'Mah' in the show, died last July. 87-year-old Betty White (AKA Rose Nylund), the oldest of the Golden Girls, is succeeding in her quest to outlive them all.

The news that Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are to have twins via a surrogate's womb reached us after we subjected our hungover heads to a timely Lifetime screening of Baby Momma... 'Cause paying someone to have double the trouble for you will alleviate all marital problems, including recurring rumours about separation and affairs with 25-year-old redheads. *Cue Carrie Bradshaw moment* I couldn't help 'Butt Wonder' if Matthew had a say in the matter. This is very possibly the moment SJP broke the news to him, at the opening night of his Broadway show The Philanthropist on Sunday.

SJP: *sighs* Isn't this night just perfection, honey? It's almost has magical as Oscar night when I wore my boobtastic fantasy dress for your pleasure. Who needs titian locked, nubile youth workers/strumpets when you have these crumpets, am I right?!

Ferris: Duuuuuuuuuuh

SJP: While we're on the subject of twins - I siphoned your sperm, mixed it with two of my precious eggs and asked a randomer to play host for the next 9 months. You're OK with that, right honey? The press release is all sorted, I asked Samantha to draft one up and it'll be in all the papers tomorrow. It'll be good publicity for your little play!

Ferris: ... uuuuuUUUUGGH?!

SJP: C'mon, it'll be fun! I want two little girls (entertainment.ie assumes at least one of the babies will be female) to dress up, I can't keep James Wilkie's hair long forever, he's almost 7. I want him to start attracting girls within the next ten years so I can judge them when he brings them home.

Ferris: Uggh *coughs* Eh, ugh, life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could mi…"

SJP: Uh-bup-bup-bup! *whispers* Not another word. Eeeeverything will be just fine. Trust mommy. Now SMILE!

Ferris: *Grimaces*