Yes, Geri, you've got a marvellous arse on you, irrespective of vintage, but was it entirely necessary to clamber out of a car window and introduce your gusset to the crowd while armed with a megaphone? ('cause she needs a megaphone…)
Of course it was necessary, for Geri's arse was doing its duty; it was bringing our attention to the first day of this year's UK X Factor auditions. Her arse even outshone Louis' voluminous hair do, and the absence of Ollie Murs.
Fair play, Geri's arse, you wouldn't find Cheryl, or Dannii, or even Tulisa's bum hauling itself onto a car roof. Even they have a bit more class. Sharon Osbourne would've have done it mind.
For those of you confused by the Halliwell's presence, she's subbing after Kelly Rowland's departure until producers find somebody better. Like Peter Kay (although his hiney wouldn't be quite as marketable).
Geri, being Geri, has got it in her head that she's staying for the entire run, like as far as the Judges Houses stage, what with her saying: "Whoever I bring as my guest helper will be authentic to me. It wouldn't be rent-a-celeb."
Baby Spice it is, then.
Also featured: Gary Barlow's long shiny shoes (he must have forgot his laces); Tulisa looking awkward in her clothes again; Dermot O'Leary trying to keep his pecker up; and Caroline Flack not in a pair of shorts.
