Back on the 16th of September, when Cheryl was all sparkly, full of promise and promoting her new single of the same name, Nadine - failing miserably to promote a single I've since chosen to omit from memory (easily done considering it sold in the region of 100 copies) - decided to announce she was engaged to a walking jaw.

Now that Cheryl's fallen from the luminescent heavens in unmitigated style, Nadine has decided to announce the cessation of her engagement to Jaws. She didn't do it through a publicist (that costs money), she opted for Twitter instead, saying: "A few weeks ago Ja(w)son and i broke up. We are great friends and decided we are better this way. Im in NYC working & I love all your support.x"

Wow. She actually admitted she could've announced this "news" at any point over the last few weeks, but she thought the very week Cheryl essentially found herself unemployed would be the best time to share. When she's in NYC working.

Jaysis, the Girls Aloud reunion thingy should just commence immediately, that way Cheryl will have summat different to moan about, Nadine actually will be working (as will Kimberly), Sarah can get some extra sheckles for the wedding fund (unless Dating In The Dark is a massive earner), and we won't have to pretend to give a sh*t about Nicola's new solo material.