Yesterday, Peter Andre squeezed out a few tears when quizzed about his children's relationship with Alex Reid - while on SKY News. To promote his new album / tour.

After being shown a clip of Dwight York, less than enthused with talk of Andre adopting Harvey, Kay Burley tentatively asked ('cause she's such a warm creature) how he would feel if Alex wanted to adopt Junior and Princess Tiaamii. Peter reacted with his usual brand of constrained fury to the suggestion, and eventually called off the discussion after tearing up.

"No-one is going to take my kids away from me - nobody. I’m sorry. Nobody is going to take my kids away from me. And I will fight to the death for that. Nobody’s going to take those kids away - I'll die before I'll let that happen. It's not going to happen. I will go to court.... I don't want to talk about this."

Peter admitted he didn't know Katie was planning to wed Alex in Las Vegas, but insists he has no feelings on the matter. He plans to break the news to the children himself, saying he would explain it in a way they could understand.Hopefully he'll omit details about the happy couple spending their wedding night at a strip club, paying £1,000-an-hour for a private room which a series of "dancers" performed in.

Again, for those interested, the pair then returned to their £6,300-a-night hotel room, and ordered room service including oysters, shrimp, a molten chocolate cake and champagne. They stayed locked in their room for the next 19 hours, violating / ignoring each other. A source said: "Katie and Alex are so happy. They have been laughing and joking almost non-stop since exchanging vows and really are in love (yes, that would be called 'The Honeymoon Period'. Alex has made no secret of the fact he wants a child too, so they are hoping to conceive as quickly as possible."

Being a cynical sort, as soon as I read about "ANDRE'S BREAKDOWN!!!" I thought - "NARGH, of course he's going to have a "BREAKDOWN!!!" on telly, that's promotional gold. It'll probably stir the acting bug within him and he'll get a recurring guest slot on Hollyoaks, tearfully playing with Harvey, Junior and the one with too long a name to be arsed with, in the park... And then the footage was viewed. If that's acting, the man deserves one of those Oscars they'll be handing out willy nilly next month.

Sure he was 'pre-warned' about the line of questioning, but it was an inane, sensationalist query to begin with. Andre is not Dwight Yorke, he's actually there for his kids, and OH GOOD LORD, look at me talking about this like I CARE?! Man, this guy is good at his job *dabs at eyes*. Damn hormones.

As for Katie 'The Price is How Much Now?' Children are not commodities or pawns in your warped version of reality. Why not wait at least a year before giving another baby a broken home.