*sings* It's just another Manic Mondaaaaay, wish it was Sundaaaaaaaay... seriously, haven't had time to scratch the hoop today *sets about task at hand*

Right, so the BAFTAs in general were a bit of a non event. Slumdog scuttled off home with nearly everything (with the notable exception of the Best Actor gong; sorry Dev 'the dude from Skins'). Marginal amusement was garnered from Angelina Jolie's "But I've flown here" face when Kate Winslet won Best Actress again (although I did feel a twinge of empathy for Jolie; quite the alien feeling) along with Mikey Rourke's Best Actor acceptance speech, which went something like this: "Darren Aronofsky gave me a second chance after I f**ked up my career for 15 years... I want to thank my publicist Paula for having the hardest job in showbiz - telling me where to go, what to do, when to do it. What to eat, what to dress, what to f**k. It's such a pleasure to be here and back out of the darkness". Not too far into the limelight now, Mickey; dim lighting behooves you *ducks missiles from Mickey fans* He also thanked: "Marisa Tomei for putting up with me - she's a hell of a talent and was very brave for taking her clothes off all the time. I enjoyed looking at her!"

Mike has done a handy roundup of the facts in Movie News; all that's left for me to do is pass comment on peoples' party frocks. You know, the important stuff:

Freida Pinto: the freshwater salmon version of Marian Cotillard's Oscar dress from last year.
Sharon Stone: Gorgeous in Galliano
Marisa Tomei: Fancy wall hanging.
Abi Titmuss: "I can see your dirty pillows" *shudders*. There was no need for her presence, let alone that dress.
Penelope Cruz: Uncharacteristically nondescript
Thandie Newton: Lily Allen wants her dress back
Alesha Dixon: For some reason I've got the voice of a concerned child in my head, saying "Mommy, that lady looks scratchy." Probably because it scares the bejesus out of me. She looks like she's being consumed by the dress. ARGH! LOOK, it's starting to creep up her arms *backs away*
Emma Watson: It' pretty and age appropriate. Although the V of the flowery collar appears to be a koala bear smiling at me.
Kate Winslet: *Yawns* If she wears black at the Oscars I might slip into a coma
Angelina Jolie: It's not a shade of grey, or Grecian in origin, AND it's being worn the right way round! Still don't like it though. Armani couture my ass.
Kristen Scott Thomas: NEXT!
Goldie Hawn: I'm sorry, but what's up with Goldie? She looks like a crazy aul wan and it's hugely unsettling. Her attire, however, was sublimely simple.
Amy Adams: Again, Grace Adler on a bad day.
Meryl Streep: Couldn't see the dress but the lace detail on top was beautiful, as was her face.
Kylie Minogue: Pretty... average. It sadly subdues the sumptious curves we know she's got lurking under there.
Gemma Arterton: Obviously compensating for the half-savaged, WWE-belted purple effort she wore to the Quantum of Solace premiere.