I know, I know, but this time he's talking about how he didn't shoot Kelly Preston while they were married in the 80s. It was a crazy time; apparently she was suicidal and Charlie kept leaving his gun hanging around in the hopes she'd get covered in blood, one of his many turn ons... seriously.
Here's what he said during one of his recent stand up doohickies:
"I was downstairs one morning making coffee, and I thought she was upstairs, still asleep, and I heard a gunshot go off. And I thought, 'She did it, she finally f****** did it. She killed herself, and they're gonna blame me. So I abandoned the coffee, because a gunshot in the morning will wake you up better than a cup of coffee. And I come around the corner and there's a naked Kelly Preston at the top of the stairs, holding her wrist, staring at me, covered in blood. And I thought, 'That's pretty f****** hot.' I didn't, I didn't. So I ran to her and said, 'What happened?' And she said, 'I don't know. The gun went off, the gun went off.' And I thought that was some excuse. After I grabbed some towels and some bandages and stopped the bleeding from cuts on her legs and on her wrist, she explained that when she lifted my pants off the scales in the bathroom while she was on the toilet... the tiny revolver I used to carry fell out of the back jeans pocket and hit the floor and shot a bullet right between her legs. She got hit by shrapnel, from the toilet bowl... I didn't know whether to ring 911 (police) or 411 (directory services). But for years people always talked about the time I tried to kill Kelly Preston."
Yeah, especially round the time you tried to kill Brooke Mueller a few years back with a knife. Shame you couldn't explain yourself out of that once thanks to an exploding toilet bowl.
As you might be aware, Preston "left Sheen shortly afterwards and married John Travolta a year a later." She then went on to be one of the queens of Scientology. Every cloud.
