Hah? Why am I reading that title on Digital Spy? But look at him here, not a care in the world, fiddling with himself in front of a baying mob of girls (including Lisa from Big Brother whatever. No, really, it's her - there's Mario) at the London premiere of his film last night. Surely a 16-year-old pop superstar wouldn't be thinking about failing healtcare systems, or - while we're at it - war, abstinence, religion, or political parties. Certainly not abortion or rape. But that's in a perfect world, filled with whispy clouds, fluffy bunnies, sunshine sundaes, lollipop lanes, and the odd twang off a bra strap.

Well, as it happens, if you're a 16-year-old pop superstar being interviewed by Rolling Stone Magazine, you need to have an opinion on all these weighty subjects. Observe:

On the subject of political leanings, the Bieber said: "I’m not sure about the parties. But whatever they have in Korea, that’s bad.”
Healthcare: "You guys are evil. Canada’s the best country in the world. We go to the doctor and we don’t need to worry about paying him, but here, your whole life, you’re broke because of medical bills. My bodyguard’s baby was premature, and now he has to pay for it. In Canada, if your baby’s premature, he stays in the hospital as long as he needs to, and then you go home.”
War: "Canada doesn't go around attacking people."
Religion: “I feel I have an obligation to plant little seeds with my fans. I’m not going to tell them, ‘You need Jesus,’ but I will say at the end of my show, ‘God loves you.’”
Abstinence: "I think you should just wait for the person you’re... in love with.”
Homosexuality: "It’s everyone’s own decision to do that. It doesn’t affect me and it shouldn’t affect anyone else.”
Abortion: “I really don’t believe in abortion. I think [an embryo] is a human. It’s like killing a baby.
In the case of rape:  I think that’s really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don’t know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven’t been in that position, so I wouldn’t be able to judge that.”

I, for one, feel momentarily sorry for him. Anyone of any vintage would struggle answering those questions in a highly public forum, but at 16 that's taking the mick. As for how he did? Not too badly, I especially like the bit about Canada not attacking people; nonspeficfic Korea's political outlook generally being bad; Americans being evil; and the bit about brainwashing.

Still, as I said, he didn't seem too perturbed last night. Apparently he was too consumed with the presence of.... Craig David. Honestly, he Tweeted about it and everything after the event: "I got to meet @craigdavid who has been an influence since day 1. I'm a huge fan. So cool. Really great night and incredible crowd (sic)." Not sure if Craig replied, but recent Brit Award Critic's Choice winner Jessie J couldn't shut up: "Awww lil bro! We gotta hang out next time. You gotta teach me them yoyo tricks :) "Yeeyaaa mayn". And "Finally.....I'm a BIEBER DIVA *stanky face head roll finger ssshhnap* pleasure to meet you @justinbieber (so jealous you had nandos) I loved the film. Hardwork and belief leads to a dream coming true. You're a true inspiration to many :)"

Guess who wants to crack America within the year.

Also in attendence: Abby from EastEnders; the old Lauren and Peter; someone else who used to be in EastEnders, but now wears "racy" things on red carpets for a living; Alesha Dixon on her way home from Waitrose; BIrds of a Feather sprogling; McKeith spawn; Jamelia offspring; some other folks who clearly only turned up to be photographed (A and B); and a piece of plastic every girl in the crowd woud've gnawed their right arm off for.