If there's a stage erected at an MTV awards ceremony, and protocol dictates that there is, Kanye West is sure to invade it at some stage. Usually it's to "diss" someone else whose won an award he deems fit for himself. Last night, however, he was nobly being a d*ckhead on Beyonce's behalf. And she was not amused.

When Taylor Swift took to the stage to accept her VMA for Best Female Music Video (the footage of which you can view here), she humbly said: "Thank you so much! I always dreamed about what it would be like to maybe win one of these some day, but I never actually thought it would have happened. I sing country music so thank you so much for giving me a chance to win a VMA award!"

Her dream turned to a nightmare, however (yes, I went there, having been up since five this morning I'm running on basic functions/cliches), when Kanye sauntered on to the stage unhindered, commandeered the mic off Swift, and said: "Take this, all of you and eat..." Apologies, no, he saves that for Sunday mornings. Kanye in fact said: "Yo Taylor. I'm really happy for you, am gonna let you finish (if Taylor had the ability to speak, I'm sure she would've said: "Why, how very good of you, miniature messiah"). But Beyonce had one of the best videos of awwll time. One a best videos of all time!" He then shrugged, and handed the mic back to Taylor - who stood there motionless and mute, like she'd just been doused with a bucket of swine blood from a height.

Rollingstone.com reports: "To add insult to injury, after Kanye handed the microphone back to Swift, her time was up, and MTV cut to a video featuring Tracy Morgan and Eminem. According to sources at the VMAs, Swift was seen hysterically crying backstage after Kanye's outburst, making it convenient that her performance of You Belong to Me, which immediately followed the acceptance speech, was prerecorded. Wale, who is serving as MC for the house band, told the crowd, 'You can't fault a man for speaking his mind,' which was promptly met by boos from the Radio City Music Hall crowd. According to our sources inside Radio City, Kanye was promptly tossed from the VMAs after interrupting Swift's speech (really?! I thought MTV payed him to repeatedly expose himself as an eejit onstage at these things). 'I'm assuming based on the amount of Hennessey I saw [West] drink that he was not all there,' Fall Out Boy's Patrick Stump told Rolling Stone backstage at the show." Yeeaah. You know you've c*cked up in an almighty fashion when someone who endures Pete Wentz as a band member says you're not all there.

Kanye has since posted this blog. Instead of typing entirely in capitals, he decided to only use them intermittently (i.e. only at the start of sentences). That's how we know just how small he feels (honestly though, who knew Kanye was that small? He's weeny...)

"I'm sooooo sorry to taylor swift and her fans and her mom. I spoke to her mother right after and she said the same thing my mother would've said. She is very talented! I like the lyrics about being a cheerleader and she's in the bleachers! .................... I'm in the wrong for going on stage and taking away from her moment!..................... beyonce's video was the best of this decade! I'm sorry to my fans if I let you guys down! I'm sorry to my friends at mtv. I will apologize to taylor 2mrw. welcome to the real world! (where I am king, you dig it?! MMWWAAWWWHAWHAW!) everybody wanna booooo me but I'm a fan of real pop culture! No disrespect but we watchin' the show at the crib right now cause ... well you know! (he was booted out for being a tw&t) I'm still happy for taylor! Boooyaaawwww! you are very very talented! I gave my awards to outkast when they deserved it over me... that's what it is!! I'm not crazy yall, I'm just real. Sorry for that! I really feel bad for taylor and I'm sincerely sorry! Much respect!!"

What a stunning "I'll say sorry if it makes you feel better, but you din' deserve it, and it's down to me and my ego to tell you as much - respect!" non-apology. He also managed not to apologise to Beyonce, for dragging her into his ego-fest. And there she was, cleaning up after his humongous dump, devoting her Best Video of The Year award acceptance speech time to Taylor. Beyonce could teach the mini-messiah a thing or two about manners.