Those who got it wrong include many a repeat offender, like Kate Flannery off The Office, who's looking a little on the stumpy side here. Jane Krakowski also stumpified herself unnecessarily. And she wasn't alone; Kaley Cuoco; not only do you look like you've cut yourself in half, WTF is going on with your hair??! Are you going for the Broadway run of Dolly Parton's 9 to 5?
Ariel Winter, while 'age appropriate' looks like she's fighting to breath. There's also too much going on in the bodice for her hair to be down.
Morena Baccarin off Homeland, while it's clear you're embracing your wanton side with sheer panels and what appears to be a peacock tail, your collar bone is looking really nude for some reason.Grab a necklace or sling the hair down.
Kerry Washington seems to be poking out of her second clutch bag.
Jonathan Banks' missus has come from the Fire Gang's lair in The Labyrinth.
Julianna Marguiles, why oh why do you always insist on scraping your hair off your face in such an extreme manner at award ceremonies?
Rose Byrne, the King Charles hair is one thing, but the dress itself evokes the thought of some flailing amoeba in a petrol slicked puddle.
Julianne Moore, I'm not sure where to begin, so I won't.
Julia Styles, why, yes, I would like a cocktail, thanks for taking my order. When does Celine Dion's matinee start? While you're at it, I'll stick it all on black.
Nancy O'Dell, we don't know you very well, so we hope you don't mind us pointing out that you seem to have some marine life taking over your dress.
Oh, Sofia Vergara, we knew the love affair had to go stale at some point. Not only is this the same dress again (albeit in a different colour and with one less strap), it looks thrown together
And then there were the surprising few. Like Jessica Chastain, she got it so right during Awards Season last year, this year not so much. Both herself and Jennifer Lawrence look stiff in these clunky gowns, both reminiscent of loo roll tubes. I'm still surprised the latter had the nerve to fall apart on her.
Finally: step away from the tan, Sarah Hyland; Nicole Kidman looking more mannequinesque than usual, and I see you went to the same hairdresser as Kaley; why are you swaddling yourself like a 60-year-old, Freida Pinto; I second that emotion Edie Falco; and Sigourney Weaver what is going on with your breasts?!
And there lies the last Red Carpet rant I'll be doing for a rather long time, for I'm heading off on Maternity Leave on Thursday. Don't worry, you'll be left in the very caustic mitts of Dave O'Shaughnessy.
>SAG Red Carpet: Michelle Dockery wins again (avec added side boob).
>Jennifer Lawrence enjoys ripping (dress) success at SAG Awards: Video here.
>The Screen Actors Guild Awards: And the film winners are...
>The Screen Actors Guild Awards: And the TV winners are...
