OK, we'll start with The Worst and then end with the absolute worst - but everyone in between was kinda OK. No one was outrageously horrendous, which is a shame, we do like a good red carpet disaster.
First on the line up of people who didn't quite get it right is Anna Kendrick. It's a little bit of everything and therefore hasn't got a notion what it's supposed to be. We're going to go with 'Angelina Jolie's distant cousin at a Bollywood Boudoir party'. See, even the description doesn't work. At least Anna looks happy and that's the main thing, a genuine smile goes a long way - especially when most have deemed you the worst dressed at The Oscars this year.
Now, let's a have hawk at who didn't quite get it right. For the record, I actually quite like most of the dresses featured, therefore highlighting how much we're grappling with straws this morning...
Other outlets are giving out about Lady GaGa being "boring." In other words, she didn't turn up in a nude suit astride a horse. Personally, I think she looks pretty amazing, this Versache dress is tailored to within an inch of it's existence - in a good way.
Also dividing opinion this morning is Anne Hathaway. Apparently the bodice of her Gucci gown is a bit too much like chain maille.
We're seriously not a fan of Jada Pinkett Smith's effort, yet it's still not a complete disaster. It just creates the illusion that her left hand side is wider than her right.
Penelope Cruz chose to be the person to motivate several hacks (myself included) to trot out the age old bedspread/curtain comparison.
People are apparently surprised by Meryl Streep's choice of attire. Which is strange; this is what Meryl Streep always wears to The Oscars.
Even Jared Leto can't pull off the white tuxedo jacket... Particularly as it's not even white.
Emma Watson's dress is essentially very serviceable, has a nice hum of the Downton's about it... it just doesn't seem to fit her well around the bodice.
Everyone's commending Pharrell on his Lanvin shorts, but - personally - I could do without seeing those pins at this hour. His missus is another matter.
And a name I didn't think I'd be be typing this morning is Ireland Baldwin, but there you have it. Alec's daughter by way of Kim Basinger opted to come as one of the Firestarters off Labyrinthe... It's OK, you can ogle her legs, she's 18.
All in all, very boring. So, in short, bring back Bjork...
>Oscars 2014 - the 'best' dressed, who wore what: Jolie, Blanchett, Roberts, Adams, Nyong'o