Most have had a taste of it. The "So, when are you settling down?" followed by the countless 'Sowhenareyougettingmarried?' which are then followed by 'SOWHENAREYOUHAVINGABABY?!?' Imagine that magnified times a million. Then imagine the added pressure of being handed baby grows by strangers in the street? Welcome to the world of William and Kate.
Between William being handed the aforementioned baby grow by a stranger during a recent royal event, and posts like "Kate Middleton Is Pregnant, Says Her Best Friend Who Probably Just Got Defriended" being retweeted thousands of times, the pressure must be immense.
According to Vanity Fair, this post's accompanying picture is the first one of the princess "covering her baby bump!" To me, it looks more like a princess standing like a princess at a formal function.
And let's not even start analysing her 'bangs', unlike the Daily Mail who've devoted an entire article to her new fringe (which, to be honest, is more just like a long layer) which reads:
"Kate's cut her hair. And it's not good. In fact, the Duchess of Cambridge's new hairstyle is something of a flop. Over her eyes. This is the biggest threat to the monarchy since Cromwell! Why? Because this new hairstyle means the Duchess’s eyes - those big, green, kind eyes, the jewel in the nation’s crown - will forever more be concealed. Who gave permission for Kate to cut her lustrous locks? The Queen would surely never have approved."
The Queen wouldn't concern herself with such things, nay, according to Weekly World News (their tagline reads "The World's Only Reliable News", obviously take that with a pinch of The Onion) she's far more interested in making Kate take pregnancy tests before national events.
An article posted on November 20th says that Kate announced her baby news at a social event "with her friend Victoria Beckham standing at her side." The article continues: "Many in England are now speculating that Kate was pregnant at the time of the wedding, but lost the child. However, Royal gynecologist, Dr. Fritz Barnwell, said 'Kate was definitely not pregnant at her wedding. We know this because the Queen had us test her to ensure that she was without child. But today, at Prince William’s request, we performed pregnancy tests on Kate and we can confirm, decidedly, that she is one month pregnant'. Queen Elizabeth is thrilled to learn that she will have her first great-grandchild. Prince Charles, however, is not so happy. 'What's the point of having a baby, when the world is about to burn up. We must all stop using fossil fuels, we must kill all the cows, and we must plant as many trees as possible,' Prince Charles said before getting onto his private jet in Los Angeles with twenty-five members of his staff."
Doesn't it almost read like a real article? Frightening, isn't it. Not nearly as frightening as being Duchess Catherine's womb. The world is watching you. And judging your hair. But that must make a welcomed change.
