Releasing a swing album comprising completely of covers is one thing ("It's a Sinatra-ish album. There will be six covers of Sinatra"), but fronting your own online show called Showbiz Rant is just a step too far up one's own inflated colon. Would I front an online ranty showbizzy type show? Probably, but only because it's the next logical step when one has been headbutting a keyboard attempting to convey the ludicracy that is celebrity gossip *whispers* for yeeeears. When you're the father of the grapevine's largest fodder, however, it's just a bit... I dunno... WEIRD.

As it happens, Mitch Winehouse's Showbiz Rant can be seen today on Living TV's online channel Liv (the additional 'e' would presumably only serve to confuse people...). You can hear him grunt such nuggets as this: "Amy and I and the family were watching X Factor and when Rachel got knocked out - we thought it was a complete disaster. We were having a lovely dinner - I was having a chicken vindaloo and Amy was having a chicken korma and we almost choked - almost put us right off our food." Oh and: "Stacey is not the new Amy. She's not as good."

It's true, Mitch can provide uniquely scintillating insider gossip - if you wish to know what type of Indian takeaway Amy prefers, or have a burning desire for a visual of Mitch huffing over a vindaloo. Chances are, though, most sorts would prefer to find out how many wraps of cocaine she's lost in her beehive. Or what poor unfortunate she's currently humping. What's Mich going to do when more pictures of his daughter's new boobs, spilling forth from whatever clothes she's half-wearing, inflitrate the net? (assuming he's not sabotaging her garments for headlines). Or worse - how will Mitch handle his new showbiz role if his daughter, God forbid, ODs again.

Can a father really report on such things? Well, it depends on how desperate he is. So, in this case, the answer is probably a resounding yes.

In the meantime, we'll have to make do with him gassing at another upstanding pillar of sobriety, that being David Hasselhoff, in the back of his cab. 

Shimmy your way through this portal if you fancy watching some footage of this travesty.