They don't call it Scary Movie for nowt, you know.

Not sure about you, but I certainly don't want to see Charlie 'Freddie Kruger' Sheen wearing the face off Lindsay Lohan on the big screen anytime soon. Neither does she by all accounts, hence her "missing filming for Scary Movie 5." Why? Well she chose her preferred delay tactic (she missed her flight) because she has been struck with a mysterious bout of "walking pneumonia." Or - as most people who've actually had pneumonia would probably call it - a bit of a chesty cough. Or, in Lohan's case, a heavy chest (apologies).

A "Hollywood insider" told the New York Post: "Lindsay missed every meeting she had for the film, including script reads and wardrobe meetings. Then she missed her flight to Atlanta on Sunday to shoot the movie. The producers had been getting signs Friday that she was a mess, and would not be fit to work. She is under contract - so to get out of it, she had to prove that she was sick. She tried to prove she has walking pneumonia." By walking around.

As for the proposed kissing scene with Sheen, well, she's not really it at all. In fact, she's been "freaking out about it for weeks." Another handy insider divulged: "She's been locked up in her room at the Bowery Hotel. She's been in a tailspin. Even Charlie Sheen worried she might not be able to do the scene." 'Cause if Lindsay Lohan won't kiss you, you really must be losing it.

A rep for Lindsay claimed: "These stories are untrue, and she is willingly fulfilling all of her obligations." Once she gets over her bout of pesky walking pneumonia, of course.